I am getting so much out of this Ephesians study suplemented by Nee.
The second chapter in this tiny book is Walk. After we know our identity in Christ, that we are seated with Him in the heavenlies, only then are we able to participate in the Christian walk. I want to quote half of this book, but you'll just have to read it for yourself.
Nee says, "Sitting describes our position with Christ in te heavenlies. Walking is the practical outworking of that heavenly position here on earth." We are perfected in Jesus. God no longer judges our walk based on our own idea of right and wrong, rather He judges us on the grace that He lavished on us in Christ.
I was thinking about this in terms of eating and gluttony. It's not an issue of me obeying man-made dietary guidelines. It's not about following a law like: eat 5 servings of veggies a day, only omega-3 proteins, no gluten, no high-fructose corn syrup, a multi-vitamin, an hour of exercise and 4 liters of water a day. those things may be good, God may want them for me, but my walk must be in obedience to God only. It's not even about what health magazines or doctors say. The Lord is the great physician. He made my body, created my DNA, so I need to go to Him first. And that is exactly what He designed me to do.
He has given me/us everything needed for life and godliness (1 Peter 1:3) and eating (that's part of life, right?). Nee says, "God has given us Christ. There is nothing now for us to receive outside of him. The Holy spirit has been sent to produce what is of Christ in us; not to produce anything that is apart from or outside of him." Duh, right? And yet this statement is so profound to me. Christ is the answer to EVERY question. It's not "Christ + 1" or "Christ + anything else". I'm sitting around like I'm waiting for Him to send me something else. What? I don't know? Greater will power, more desire, more fervor, I guess. But I already have everything that I need to live the life He has called me to. Including a life free from the bondage of gluttony and counting calories.
29 April 2009
25 April 2009
New weight loss secret revealed!
Get stuck in an elevator.
Ok, not really, but I did get stuck in an elevator.
I was at work last night (night shift) and my easy descent to the ER was cut short by a jarring motion between the second and first floors. I called the help button and the maintenance guy said he would send someone. I'm not claustrophobic, I wasn't worried, but I did have some nurses waiting one me. So, after about a half hour (it's 3:30 by now) I called the help button again and asked the guy to call the ER and let them know that the interpreter was stuck in an elevator. About 15 minutes later one of the maintenance guys working on the elevator told me that they were sending the fire department to get me out! I thought that was a little much. They arrived and helped me out around 4am. There was a space of about 2 feet at the top of the elevator door that let out onto the second floor. Apparently it was a slow news night in the ER because by the time I got back everyone asked me about the event. It makes me laugh.
So, to get back to the header, I was sooo hungry in the elevator, but since I had to wait the hunger dissipated a little. Good thing I didn't have to go to the bathroom :)
“Gluttony is an emotional escape, a sign something is eating us.”
Peter De Vries
Ok, not really, but I did get stuck in an elevator.
I was at work last night (night shift) and my easy descent to the ER was cut short by a jarring motion between the second and first floors. I called the help button and the maintenance guy said he would send someone. I'm not claustrophobic, I wasn't worried, but I did have some nurses waiting one me. So, after about a half hour (it's 3:30 by now) I called the help button again and asked the guy to call the ER and let them know that the interpreter was stuck in an elevator. About 15 minutes later one of the maintenance guys working on the elevator told me that they were sending the fire department to get me out! I thought that was a little much. They arrived and helped me out around 4am. There was a space of about 2 feet at the top of the elevator door that let out onto the second floor. Apparently it was a slow news night in the ER because by the time I got back everyone asked me about the event. It makes me laugh.
So, to get back to the header, I was sooo hungry in the elevator, but since I had to wait the hunger dissipated a little. Good thing I didn't have to go to the bathroom :)
“Gluttony is an emotional escape, a sign something is eating us.”
Peter De Vries
22 April 2009
Ephesians 1 and Nee
I decided to take an inductive approach to my study of Ephesians accompanied by Nee's Sit, Wlk, Stand. My friend, Jenny, taught me this approach last summer when we studied 1 and 2 Peter. You start out by reading through the text a number of times, in its entirety, to get context, and then write an overview outline. The next step is a study of the historical/geographical/social/etc. background of the text in question. I'm on the third step which is to take each section (I am breaking Ephesians up by chapter) and outline it, write a summary and personal application for the text. I get a lot out of this type of study (I just don't always put for the time, but it's so worth it!).
Nee's emphasis is that Ephesians 1-3 focus on our identity in Christ - that we are "seated" with Him and that this is a work that the Father has already done (we only receive it as a gracious gift). I agree: Paul puts a huge emphasis in this letter on the believers' identity in Christ. In chapter one alone Paul refers to us being "in Him" or "in Christ" nine times. God's grace is mentioned three times and His glory as the reason/purpose/mptove for His goodness towards us is mentioned three times.
Paul also emphasizes the fact that God planned His redemptive work before the foundation of the world. It wasn't a fluke and it's not because something went wrong and He had to scramble to find a way to fix it. I also like verses 11 and 12 which explain that we have a heavenly inheritance with a purpose. You know, someone's Grampa Joe dies and leaves his family with a bunch of money. What do they do with it? There are often no instructions left. God, however, has given believers a purposeful inheritance - to be the praise of His glory. I still can't quite wrap my head around that phrase, but it helps me to know that He creates purpose in everything.
Ephesians is a very empowering epistle - I think a believer who really studies it will be well-prepared for the Christian life.
On another note... I just started working the night shift at the hospital. I like the environment, I just don't like how it messes with my sleep schedule. Also, I think it will draw/push me toward God to direct my eating. When I don't sleep I have a harder time knowing when I'm hungry and whether to eat. Lord, lead me! save me from myself!
Nee's emphasis is that Ephesians 1-3 focus on our identity in Christ - that we are "seated" with Him and that this is a work that the Father has already done (we only receive it as a gracious gift). I agree: Paul puts a huge emphasis in this letter on the believers' identity in Christ. In chapter one alone Paul refers to us being "in Him" or "in Christ" nine times. God's grace is mentioned three times and His glory as the reason/purpose/mptove for His goodness towards us is mentioned three times.
Paul also emphasizes the fact that God planned His redemptive work before the foundation of the world. It wasn't a fluke and it's not because something went wrong and He had to scramble to find a way to fix it. I also like verses 11 and 12 which explain that we have a heavenly inheritance with a purpose. You know, someone's Grampa Joe dies and leaves his family with a bunch of money. What do they do with it? There are often no instructions left. God, however, has given believers a purposeful inheritance - to be the praise of His glory. I still can't quite wrap my head around that phrase, but it helps me to know that He creates purpose in everything.
Ephesians is a very empowering epistle - I think a believer who really studies it will be well-prepared for the Christian life.
On another note... I just started working the night shift at the hospital. I like the environment, I just don't like how it messes with my sleep schedule. Also, I think it will draw/push me toward God to direct my eating. When I don't sleep I have a harder time knowing when I'm hungry and whether to eat. Lord, lead me! save me from myself!
17 April 2009
Blog entry about gluttony
I've been trying to research more about gluttony. For years I did not see gluttony as a sin. When I lived in Missouri the people at my church always joked about how you couldn't have a church even if there wasn't food present (breakfast/doughnuts beforehand, potluck after, dinner before evening service, ice cream social after, and on it went). I know that my life in Christ is based on living according to His grace and that it's not about focusing on sin. However, I know that gluttony has been an enormous sin in my life as a young person and I want to deal with it's ugliness.
I found a blog http://www.joethorn.net/2005/10/03/seven-gluttony/ written by a Joe Thorn. On this page he write about gluttony and I've included some of his writings below (in italics, my comments in regular font):
I think fasting is an important (an overlooked) discipline, and relevant to the issue of gluttony. One of the benefits of fasting is that it teaches us to do without, to have not, and find contentment in things eternal over things temporal.
I have fasted in the past and it has been beneficial for prayer time and for understanding that I need to go to the Lord to be my fulfillment. In Matthew 6 Jesus gives instructions for fasting. He says, "When you fast" as though it is an expected action. Even through the Middle Ages and the Renaissance in Europe it was still expected for the faithful to fast at certain times. Only now, when food is not at all scarce, have we stopped fasting. I hope to prayerfully return to fasting. On Monday I fasted from one meal. I spent that time in Bible study and prayer. It was wonderful.
How often do we hear sermons on the sin of gluttony? ...Gluttony’s obvious presence in our country ... and its absence from our private and corporate confession is the mark of hypocrisy and careless Christian living. The Bible names gluttony as a sin associated with wastefulness, stubbornness, rebellion and disobedience. It exists on the same level of drunkenness (Deut. 21:20; Pr. 23:20, 21). In fact, gluttony is more dangerous than drunkenness because it goes on with no one taking notice.I want to live my life in such a way that I don't glorify gluttony. I am waiting on the Lord to move me in that direction. I could come up with my own plan, but I want Him to guide me.
And so gluttony continues on in the church, and we do little about it. It not only destroys the body, but it reinforces the American value of instant and excessive gratification.
If gluttony is the abuse of God’s gifts, if it is self-centered overindulgence, what would repentance look like?
In Sit, Walk, Stand Nee writes that Jesus did not die to defend my rights (much less my wants). He died to glorify the Father and to give me new life. God's ways are true and universal. God laid the foundation for the founding of our country, but He does not hold to our values. God is not an American. I want my life to reflect His Spirit alive in me - not the culture that surrounds me.
In essence we let faith work. We acknowledge God as the author of good gifts (food, drink, pipe tobacco - whatever), and from this recognition emerges gratitude which produces enjoyment and moderation. This is the path to mortifying the sin of gluttony, drunkenness and similar sins.
Getting past gluttony requires me to fully sit in the identity that I have in Christ and allow Him to do the work. He will then teach and guide me in how to live and treat my body. He will teach me to be a good steward of my resources and He will bring about the desire for repentance and the work of sanctification.
16 April 2009
Sit - I am seated in Christ
This study of Sit, Walk, Stand is already so rich. Please get yourself a copy (Amazon, 70 little pages, $6) if you haven't read it yet.
Read below:
Ephesians 1:19b-21
That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come.
Ephesians 2:6-7
And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus.
I'm loving Watchman Nee's take on my identity in Christ. God, in His infinite power, raised Jesus from the dead and seated Him at the right hand (place of power, authority, privileged). Then, Paul goes on to say that I am seated with Him, and that was completed by the very same power that raised Christ. Nee says that "Christianity does not begin with walking; it begins with sitting." It begins with God placing me in a position of rest. I am saved by grace, a gift from God, instead of working (walking) for it. I am unable to do anything to save myself. It was gifted to me.
Nee then says "Christianity begins not with a big DO, but with a big DONE." He did it.
Ephesians 1:3
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ.
I love language, so I have to say that the above-bolded verb is, in the Greek, in the aorist tense. Now, aorist just means that the action occurred. My point is, it is a fact that He did this for then. Then, the underlined adjective, means in English exactly what is meant in Greek: all, every.
Now, I have no idea what EVERY SPIRITUAL BLESSING IN CHRIST really entails, but my guess is that it's a lot. More than I can imagine or be grateful for. What I do know is that He did it ALL without my help (or hindrance). So, He identified me with Christ, made me sit down (rest) in Him and gave me every spiritual blessing. If that's not something to praise, I don't know what is! Hallelujah!
This makes me realize that there is NOTHING that I need to do to gain/earn any of it, but believe. He's already done it all. It's like if my friends threw a surprise party for me and, upon arriving, I set out to re-make the plans, buy the food, invite the guests. My actions would be unnecessary, fruitless and possibly very offensive to those giving me the party. Hmm... I never thought of it like that before. Could all of my religious striving offend God? It makes me think of these lyrics by Tenth Avenue North:
Even still, after all of this, my flesh will still try to turn this into a work. Nee says, "Our key word here is not of course, in its context, a command to 'sit down' but to see ourselves as 'seated' in Christ." God has said it is so. I vaguely remember a song from when I taught Children's Church: "God said it and I believe it." If that is so and I really choose to believe it, then I have so much to gain!
NoTHING, nobody else has the power to promise me rested identity. I am complete in Him.
Read below:
Ephesians 1:19b-21
That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come.
Ephesians 2:6-7
And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus.
I'm loving Watchman Nee's take on my identity in Christ. God, in His infinite power, raised Jesus from the dead and seated Him at the right hand (place of power, authority, privileged). Then, Paul goes on to say that I am seated with Him, and that was completed by the very same power that raised Christ. Nee says that "Christianity does not begin with walking; it begins with sitting." It begins with God placing me in a position of rest. I am saved by grace, a gift from God, instead of working (walking) for it. I am unable to do anything to save myself. It was gifted to me.
Nee then says "Christianity begins not with a big DO, but with a big DONE." He did it.
Ephesians 1:3
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ.
I love language, so I have to say that the above-bolded verb is, in the Greek, in the aorist tense. Now, aorist just means that the action occurred. My point is, it is a fact that He did this for then. Then, the underlined adjective, means in English exactly what is meant in Greek: all, every.
Now, I have no idea what EVERY SPIRITUAL BLESSING IN CHRIST really entails, but my guess is that it's a lot. More than I can imagine or be grateful for. What I do know is that He did it ALL without my help (or hindrance). So, He identified me with Christ, made me sit down (rest) in Him and gave me every spiritual blessing. If that's not something to praise, I don't know what is! Hallelujah!
This makes me realize that there is NOTHING that I need to do to gain/earn any of it, but believe. He's already done it all. It's like if my friends threw a surprise party for me and, upon arriving, I set out to re-make the plans, buy the food, invite the guests. My actions would be unnecessary, fruitless and possibly very offensive to those giving me the party. Hmm... I never thought of it like that before. Could all of my religious striving offend God? It makes me think of these lyrics by Tenth Avenue North:
Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away
Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run
Even still, after all of this, my flesh will still try to turn this into a work. Nee says, "Our key word here is not of course, in its context, a command to 'sit down' but to see ourselves as 'seated' in Christ." God has said it is so. I vaguely remember a song from when I taught Children's Church: "God said it and I believe it." If that is so and I really choose to believe it, then I have so much to gain!
NoTHING, nobody else has the power to promise me rested identity. I am complete in Him.
14 April 2009
Sit, Walk, Stand
In my ladies' Bible study we're starting a study on Ephesians, using the book Sit, Walk, Stand by Watchman Nee as a supplement. I especially got a lot out of Nee's The Normal Christian Life, so I'm looking forward to this. From what I understand Nee had some end-of-life mental health issues and his later works are biblically-off, but these two books are super.
Last night we read through Ephesians as a group for whole-book context. I love studying the Bible this way. It's a little more daunting to read through Isaiah in one sitting, but it's doable for NT books. Paul is such a great writer. He uses arguments that he builds slowly to explain his points. His sentences are so rich! I think we've done ourselves a little bit of a disservice by breaking up the ideas into verses and smaller sentences. I think we lose some of the momentum.
As we were reading thorough it last night I saw some points, particularly in chapters 2 and 4 that I think will be especially poignant to me in my walk with Him away from gluttony and selfishness. My plan is to use this blog space to flesh out some of the ideas.
God's Word is so good. :)
Last night we read through Ephesians as a group for whole-book context. I love studying the Bible this way. It's a little more daunting to read through Isaiah in one sitting, but it's doable for NT books. Paul is such a great writer. He uses arguments that he builds slowly to explain his points. His sentences are so rich! I think we've done ourselves a little bit of a disservice by breaking up the ideas into verses and smaller sentences. I think we lose some of the momentum.
As we were reading thorough it last night I saw some points, particularly in chapters 2 and 4 that I think will be especially poignant to me in my walk with Him away from gluttony and selfishness. My plan is to use this blog space to flesh out some of the ideas.
God's Word is so good. :)
10 April 2009
Entertainment
I'm finding that I really like to be entertained. Part of me so wants to say that I'm not that shallow, but I am. I want things to be fun and easy. I want to be around people as long as they are looking for a good time. If they are downers I'd rather avoid them. I want to do activities that are comfortable and fun for me. I talk for my entertainment, play for my entertainment, eat for my entertainment and constantly look for ways to distract myself from things that aren't fun.
For some time now I've wanted an mp3 player (I had one on my last cell phone) to help be get through boring exercise like distance running or using machines at the gym. But I feel God telling me "no", trying to get me to understand that I don't need to be entertained all of the time.
Growing up the TV was on nearly 24/7. There was always something to distract us from the real world (including re-runs of "The Real World", ha!). If the TV wasn't enough, there was food. In times of depression, if TV and food weren't enough of an escape, I could just go to sleep. I think I learned these behaviors as an escape mechanism from other people in my family who desperately wanted to avoid painful and uncomfortable situations. One of my grandmother's mantras is "[Do] anything to keep peace in the family". I guess that meant even stuffing your face so you wouldn't argue.
My husband has also pointed out to me that I make light of serious situations so I don't have to feel anything. It frustrates him and I don't want to frustrate him. I also do tasks so I don't have to deal with feelings - mine or otherwise (I am SO a Martha).
Lord, I know that this is a reflection of my self-serving flesh. Free me from slavery of distraction, diversion and entertainment so that I can experience and enjoy the real things in life. Help me to deal with feelings and not just avoid them. Help me be a good steward of my time, so I don't waste this precious life on frivolous entertainment.
For some time now I've wanted an mp3 player (I had one on my last cell phone) to help be get through boring exercise like distance running or using machines at the gym. But I feel God telling me "no", trying to get me to understand that I don't need to be entertained all of the time.
Growing up the TV was on nearly 24/7. There was always something to distract us from the real world (including re-runs of "The Real World", ha!). If the TV wasn't enough, there was food. In times of depression, if TV and food weren't enough of an escape, I could just go to sleep. I think I learned these behaviors as an escape mechanism from other people in my family who desperately wanted to avoid painful and uncomfortable situations. One of my grandmother's mantras is "[Do] anything to keep peace in the family". I guess that meant even stuffing your face so you wouldn't argue.
My husband has also pointed out to me that I make light of serious situations so I don't have to feel anything. It frustrates him and I don't want to frustrate him. I also do tasks so I don't have to deal with feelings - mine or otherwise (I am SO a Martha).
Lord, I know that this is a reflection of my self-serving flesh. Free me from slavery of distraction, diversion and entertainment so that I can experience and enjoy the real things in life. Help me to deal with feelings and not just avoid them. Help me be a good steward of my time, so I don't waste this precious life on frivolous entertainment.
09 April 2009
Wasting food
I really hate wasting food.
Maybe because it's because my grandparents are products of the depression. Maybe it's because we were kind of poor growing up. Maybe it's because I could barely afford food in college. I hope it's partly because God has taught me, and continues to teach me, to be a good steward of my resources.
I really don't like wasting anything: electricity, people, time, resources, etc.
My husband and I give away anything that we don't use (he was pretty poor growing up, too). We recycle as much as we can. In the Arizona suburbs I have a compost pile just so I won't waste coffee grounds.
So, when I read about others conquering their flesh by throwing the rest of their breakfast in the trash it's really hard for me to accept. Why not save it in a Tupperware for later (I understand that may not always be possible)? The truth is, for me, if I'm not wholly given over to God a trash can will not separate me from food. I have, and yes it's gross, gone after food that I've thrown away. I used to have to walk my trash out to the dumpster to ensure that I wouldn't go after food that I was binging one.
I know that some of my gluttony strongholds have included being part of the "clean-plate club", quickly eating (read: binging) something so that it wouldn't be a temptation for me anymore, and finishing that last dab of left-overs so they won't go to waste. These are all things that I continue to address in my walk away from gluttony.
That said, I am really uncomfortable throwing away food. After reading about this practice in so many places I finally decided to try it. I regret it. I could have saved the rest (two bites of Bulgarian feta) in my Tupperware. Instead, I wasted it. I think I did it because of self-imposed peer pressure (if that is even possible) rather than because the Lord directed me to it.
I understand that God may lead others differently than I in their repentance from gluttony. I am thankful to read about other's experience in their journey to freedom. I just need to remember that it is the Lord who guides me. Not even the best-intentioned super-Christian can take His place. So until the Lord directs me otherwise, my plan will be to serve myself small enough portions that I won't waste food and, if there is any left over, I will give it to someone else or save it for later.
Maybe because it's because my grandparents are products of the depression. Maybe it's because we were kind of poor growing up. Maybe it's because I could barely afford food in college. I hope it's partly because God has taught me, and continues to teach me, to be a good steward of my resources.
I really don't like wasting anything: electricity, people, time, resources, etc.
My husband and I give away anything that we don't use (he was pretty poor growing up, too). We recycle as much as we can. In the Arizona suburbs I have a compost pile just so I won't waste coffee grounds.
So, when I read about others conquering their flesh by throwing the rest of their breakfast in the trash it's really hard for me to accept. Why not save it in a Tupperware for later (I understand that may not always be possible)? The truth is, for me, if I'm not wholly given over to God a trash can will not separate me from food. I have, and yes it's gross, gone after food that I've thrown away. I used to have to walk my trash out to the dumpster to ensure that I wouldn't go after food that I was binging one.
I know that some of my gluttony strongholds have included being part of the "clean-plate club", quickly eating (read: binging) something so that it wouldn't be a temptation for me anymore, and finishing that last dab of left-overs so they won't go to waste. These are all things that I continue to address in my walk away from gluttony.
That said, I am really uncomfortable throwing away food. After reading about this practice in so many places I finally decided to try it. I regret it. I could have saved the rest (two bites of Bulgarian feta) in my Tupperware. Instead, I wasted it. I think I did it because of self-imposed peer pressure (if that is even possible) rather than because the Lord directed me to it.
I understand that God may lead others differently than I in their repentance from gluttony. I am thankful to read about other's experience in their journey to freedom. I just need to remember that it is the Lord who guides me. Not even the best-intentioned super-Christian can take His place. So until the Lord directs me otherwise, my plan will be to serve myself small enough portions that I won't waste food and, if there is any left over, I will give it to someone else or save it for later.
07 April 2009
Feelings are not Truth II
I keep wanting to say that I am not a feelings-oriented person, but I am! My good friend, Bert, always says "Belief causes behavior", but in my case I'm pretty sure that it's "Feelings cause behavior". (For more great info from Bert check out: http://www.bertsgoodstuff.com/)
I constantly kick myself for not being perfect (in my eyes) but the Truth of God is that He makes me perfect:
2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
His power is complete (read: perfect) in me when I am at my weakest because my lack of self-will and pride allow Him to take me over completely. Every time I try to live the Christian life in my own power, I fail. That is a guarantee.
When my focus is on myself, my wants, my desires, I am spiritually impotent. The Lord can and does use believers even when we're loathsome, but how much more could the Lord do through me if I were always willing, available and focused on Truth?
Over these last few months of repenting (read: turn 180 degrees away) of gluttony I've found that my eyes and mind are also consuming unhealthy things. At times it has been a struggle against flesh to not read fashion/trendy/celebrity gossip articles. But, I know that it is totally necessary for me to abstain from these information sources. For one, they are full of lies. More importantly, they do not reflect God's character and my greatest spiritual desire is to reflect Him more and more.
So, when I abstain, I look for other ways to entertain myself. I've noticed that I'm watching more TV than before (another source of ungodly information). The Lord keeps calling me to spend more time in the Word and I procrastinate from it. How sad! As much as I say that I want to become more like Him, in act I am showing that I don't really want to change at all!
I have to make the purposeful decision to focus on Him and on His Truth rather than letting myself be carried by feelings, food, TV or gossip magazines (or pride! Part of me wants to delete the section where I admit to reading celebrity gossip mags, it makes me feel shallow and my pride doesn't want to publicize my shallowness or even admit that it exists).
Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
I constantly kick myself for not being perfect (in my eyes) but the Truth of God is that He makes me perfect:
2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
His power is complete (read: perfect) in me when I am at my weakest because my lack of self-will and pride allow Him to take me over completely. Every time I try to live the Christian life in my own power, I fail. That is a guarantee.
When my focus is on myself, my wants, my desires, I am spiritually impotent. The Lord can and does use believers even when we're loathsome, but how much more could the Lord do through me if I were always willing, available and focused on Truth?
Over these last few months of repenting (read: turn 180 degrees away) of gluttony I've found that my eyes and mind are also consuming unhealthy things. At times it has been a struggle against flesh to not read fashion/trendy/celebrity gossip articles. But, I know that it is totally necessary for me to abstain from these information sources. For one, they are full of lies. More importantly, they do not reflect God's character and my greatest spiritual desire is to reflect Him more and more.
So, when I abstain, I look for other ways to entertain myself. I've noticed that I'm watching more TV than before (another source of ungodly information). The Lord keeps calling me to spend more time in the Word and I procrastinate from it. How sad! As much as I say that I want to become more like Him, in act I am showing that I don't really want to change at all!
I have to make the purposeful decision to focus on Him and on His Truth rather than letting myself be carried by feelings, food, TV or gossip magazines (or pride! Part of me wants to delete the section where I admit to reading celebrity gossip mags, it makes me feel shallow and my pride doesn't want to publicize my shallowness or even admit that it exists).
Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
06 April 2009
Feelings are not Truth
Below I've copied some of what I wrote in a recent email. I can't learn this enough: Feelings are not truth.
In my hospital we often see patients who "feel fine" once they get a pain pill. They might feel ok, but their underlying condition hasn't changed and they still need their foot amputated because diabetes has killed their leg circulation (true story, sadly many times over).
In the same way, if I let the scale, or my weight, be my idol it will control my emotions. For example, about a month ago I did my weekly weigh-in and I had gained half a pound. That threw me into a bad mood all day. Then, last week. I lost two pounds. I was joyous. Ridiculous, right? I mean, praise God for freeing me up from gluttony one-meal-at-a-time, but to let my mood be set does not glorify or even recognize the Lord.
So, here's what I wrote in my email. I hope it spoke to the recipient as much as it did to me.
I think it's good for you to vent your emotions. That's ok. Now that you've expressed your feelings: What are you going to do about this situation?
You have to make a decision about how you are going to handle your relationships. If people aren't going to change (which they may not) how are you going to deal with their behavior?
You have many choices (these are just a few that I've thought up):
1. you can just be mad/bitter/depressed towards them (yes, that IS a choice)
2. you can ignore them/not deal with them
3. you can blame them for not behaving in the way that you want/expect them to behave
4. you can accept that God has put you in this situation for some reason, knowing that He wants to teach you something through it (like maybe trusting Him for your feelings/worth/identity)
I want you to know that God is the only One who does NOT disappoint. Others have, do and will continue to disappoint you. YOU have, do, and will continue to disappoint yourself.
I'm wondering if God is putting you through these very trying times so that you can finally learn to trust Him. I'm not speaking as a person who has "already arrived". Please don't think I'm talking down to you. I go through the same stuff. I wonder if maybe He's tried to teach you before and you haven't learned, so He's making the lesson so much more obvious (read: difficult) now.
Feelings can be valid, but they are just reactions to circumstances. They aren't God's Truth. God's Truth is what it is regardless of how you feel about it. God made us humans to have feelings and emotions. They aren't bad things, they just aren't Him.
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