My husband and I often talk about overcoming and resisting a victimization mentality. Both of us grew up with it in our family and want to walk away from it. It is a trap. For me, the victimization mentality is a state of mind in which a person is rarely in the wrong, is never the one at fault and has an attitude of 'them vs. me'.
I think it's just a version of the blame game. As a race we've been playing it ever since Adam blamed his sin on Eve, and she her deception on the serpent.
In my job I've known the mother of a pediatric patient who truly seems to embrace a victim mentality. It's sad to me because it seems that it's an attitude that she learned from her family and I think will probably be passed on to her child. It's a hard cycle to break, as I've seen in myself and in my own family. There's only one cure.
Today I met another mother of a pediatric patient. I was called to met her briefly and then her child died of cancer. I was called again for the chaplain to meet with her. When I got to the room I found her on her knees, crying out to the Lord. This is the gist of her prayer:
Lord, why couldn't you have waited to take him? He so wanted to see his grandparents again. But I know he is with You now and I know that I will see him again. This is so hard, Daddy, inject me with You, with Your love so I can bear this. You have been with me every step of the way and I know that You are with me now and that he is with you. Thank You for loaning him to me for these nine years. Thank You, Lord, Thank You, Lord, Thank You, Lord. I know that he is Yours and I thank You for loaning him to me. Give me Your peace, Daddy so I can show You to all these who are here who have been helping us. Thank You. Enable me to go on because I can't get up without You. Amen.
That is not the prayer of a victim. That is the prayer of a person who know Truth in the Lord and is wholly dependent on Him. It is the prayer of a person who is devastated, but a victor in Christ Jesus.
In my job I unfortunately see many deaths, a lot of them being children. Most of the time the stricken family wails, "Why God? Why did this happen to me/us/him/her?" Most of the time I can handle the death, because I can walk away. This is one of the few times that I've cried and it's not because of the passing, it's because of the loving, dependent prayer of a deeply saddened mother who knows the Lord. It was one of the most beautiful things that I've ever witnessed. I was called to 'help' her, but she is the one who ministered to me.
Lord, I want to have a heart like hers! Bless this mom in her grief. Bless the other mom who still doesn't know You. You are the only answer we have to the victimization mentality.
Oh victory in Jesus my Savior forever!
No comments:
Post a Comment