Giving up

My journal/blog entry yesterday was about giving up (my)self because that is what Jesus taught His disciples in John 15:13. The idea has really rocked my world and it's made me think A LOT about what I'm willing to give up and what I need to give up.

I decided to give up something for Lent. I'm not from a church background that practices giving up luxuries for Lent, but it is something that I have chosen to do a few times in the past. I know that it doesn't have any bearing on my salvation (that was already bought and paid for by Jesus), but I find that it can have a positive effect on my relationship with the Lord (therefore, a step in the right direction of my sanctification - being transformed into Christ's likeness).

Once before I gave up sweets but I am NOT in a place where I could do that without diet mentality. So, I decided to give up TV. My husband and I have only the most basic of cable (because it comes with the Internet) which gives us just 20 channels. However, I still watch an obscene amount of TV. I get up and the news goes on. I come home and the news or some sit-com goes on. On the weekend I watch multiple hours of PBS cooking shows (I'm sure there's a boundary to be set there).

It's too much. Also, it facilitates mindless eating. I know that Thin Within advocates for mindful, no-distractions eating yet I usually choose not to practice it (it IS a choice I make, no pinning the blame elsewhere!).

So, yesterday was my first no TV day. I felt like I had a lot more time in the morning to get ready (go figure). Then, when I got home I was able to do some chores, sit and enjoy my dinner, talk with my husband without distractions and read a good book. Oh - and I also went to bed at a decent time so I wasn't dragging myself out of bed this morning. All that because I didn't watch TV.

For most of my time in college I didn't have a TV so I know how to live without it, but I so easily let myself get sucked in (again, a choice). I'm not being legalistic about it. My husband is free to watch (I won't deprive him of the Olympics). I just choose not to sit there. I think I'm going to get so much stuff done in the next six weeks! And, and, I'm looking forward to longer times of Bible study without distractions.

Now, there is nothing sinful about TV in and of itself (well, the machine itself or the idea of the programming; I'm not going to debate quality of the shows). There is also nothing godly about giving up watching TV in and of itself. The idea behind it is that I need to set some boundaries about my TV watching and it's healthy for me to fast from it for awhile. I just happened to chose to do it during Lent.

There is one part that I will have to really be intentional about ;)
My local YMCA has individual TV monitors with cable on the treadmills. I loved going on Saturday mornings and walking on the treadmill while watching the Food Network programs that I don't get at home.

Hmm... I might just have to step outside and walk in the beautiful 75 degree weather in Arizona. What a thought! :)

1 Peter 1:13-16 (NIV)
Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed. As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: "Be holy, because I am holy."

ψυχην

Psuche. Psyche. Soul. Will. Self. That which makes you you. Pride.


In John 15:13 Jesus says (NASB):


Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.


I was slowly working through chapter 15 a few weeks ago in Greek and I was puzzled by this verse. I expected to see words like "zoe" (life) or even maybe "bios" (physical life). Instead it read "psuche".

Jesus was telling them, and us, that the greatest show of love isn't physically dying for them, rather it is putting aside our wants, thoughts, and opinions for their good.

For me this is revolutionary. I used to think that it was huge that Jesus physically died for us... and it is. However, I've come to learn over the last few years that it must have been so much more difficult for Him to step away from divinity so that (with the purpose of) we could be reconciled to Him. It's totally amazing.

It's also a huge call. I find Jesus asking me, then, if I consider Him a friend. If so, am I willing to lay down my "ψυχην" for Him? am I willing to give up that which has made me me?

Watch where you're driving!

There was a little bit of a learning curve for me when I first was learning how to drive. While other teenagers are off and running, it took me longer to get some of the basics down. Looking back, I know that's because my focus was all wrong. When driving, you have to be aware of your surroundings: the street, the other cars, buildings, pedestrians, etc. when I first started I kept staring at just the nose (the front of the hood) of the car. I was really concerned about where I was taking the car so I was somewhat convinced that I needed to focus on the car itself.

Had I continued in that vein, I would have quickly had an accident. My focus needed not to be on myself (the car) but on what was going on around me. I think there may be a good spiritual application in all of this. If I continue to focus on myself I'm going to miss the things that happen around me and I could potentially get really hurt!

It is becoming more and more obvious to me how self-serving greed is. When I focus on what I want I miss out on knowing the Lord more, on seeing His work, on participating in His will, on enjoying His creation and His people. Even one moment of idolatry can rob me of enjoying Him.

If I could only remember that on a moment by moment basis... sigh. It's a question of perseverance. I knew that the Bible gives us various examples of perseverance and exhorts us to persevere, but I didn't know until today that the Lord gives us perseverance. In Romans 15:5-6 Paul gives this prayer/blessing:

"Now may the God who gives perseverance and encouragement grant you to be of the same mind with one another according to Christ Jesus, so that with one accord you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ."

Paul defines our God as one who gives perseverance AND encouragement. That's an encouragement to! I read that Paul is praying that God the Father allow us to have the same mind as Christ Jesus with the purpose that corporately the body of believers be able to glorify Him. What a wonderful prayer! Lord, may it be so! The Lord's work in our lives is ultimately for His glory - always. Thank You, Lord, for your encouragement. Thank You for giving me the ability to persevere in truth and love. Thank You for giving me a purpose.

I started thinking about perseverance because my hospital's thought for the day touches on it:

Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another. --Walter Elliott

The hard thing for me is being consistently intentional. I know, however, intentionality is like a muscle, it becomes stronger as I continue to use it. It's hard for me to pray for intentionality for the rest of my life, but I can pray that the Lord will help be choose to be intentional in this moment, maybe even in this hour - there's only 15 minutes left of it anyhow! :)

I have one more thought on intentionality for this morning. My friend, Jenny, offered us another driving analogy on Monday. She said, "If you don't want to hit a tree, don't look at it." When I focus on sin I'm much more likely to come into contact with it than when I focus on the Lord and walking in the Spirit. It's good advice. Be intentional about what you're looking at and meditating on.

Gratitude is riches. Complaint is poverty. -- Doris Day

I work at a Catholic hospital and each day the Spiritual Services Department shares a prayer and a thought for the day. Despite it being a Catholic institution they use a lot of ideas from other faith traditions, as they word it. I really like the quote they sent out (above) from Doris Day. It goes along well with my desire to repent of greed.

I'm reading through "Three Cups of Tea". It is the story of Greg Mortenson, an American mountain climber turned educational philanthropist in Pakistan. It is a lovely story and it consistently teaches me of simple gratitude and how giving is so much greater than greed. I was especially struck by his account of opening a school in the days just after 9/11. In the Balti culture that he mainly has worked with they give fresh eggs as a token of grief. Mortenson tells how many widows in this particular village gave him eggs to take to the new widows in the "village of New York" because they longed to comfort them. What love! What a gift! I have so much to learn.

Now onto Bible study. In my discipleship class on Sunday we briefly touched on Colossians 3:1-5, but I felt that the Lord had more to teach me. This is about putting on the new self:

Therefore if you have been raised up with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth. For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is our life, is revealed, then you also will be revealed with Him in glory. Therefore consider the members of your earthly body as dead to immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and greed, which amounts to idolatry.

If I am in Christ (and I know that I am) then I am to set my mind on things above. Like what? The Lord, His truth, His Word and not the garbage that so easily entangles me down here. Additionally, I am to consider my earthly body dead to greed (as well as the other things listed, but I can only tackle them one at a time!). Furthermore, Paul defines greed as idolatry. Loving stuff. Loving food. Finding meaning and purpose from things created rather than from the Creator.

Christ is my life, Paul says. My life is hidden with Christ in God. the most meaningful thing about my life, my existence, is the fact that the spirit of the God of the Universe dwells in me. That is where my significance lies.

Thank You, Lord for this truth. I'm going to have to sit with it for awhile and let it sink in. Help me to meditate on your glorious provision for me and help me not meditate or idolize created things that we know eventually pass away and rot. Thank you, Lord, for providing me with something new to ponder each day. Keep it coming! Please don't stop until I get this down pat! Thank You for your consistent presence and faithfulness. Forgive me for not appreciating it as I should. Amen.

The Gospel and Transformation

I am taking a new class at church on Sunday mornings that serves as a training course for those who (may) desire to disciple another believer. I'm really quite excited about it since most churches that I've ever been a part of have focused on evangelism and not discipleship. Additionally, I think it will be good for me to look at this basic, essential biblical information so I can know it, own it and share it with others.

I'm also thankful that I am beginning this class with a specific sin issue to deal with. I know that may sound weird, but it allows me to take the information that we're learning and apply it directly to my life in a tangible way. For example, we are beginning with memorizing Romans 12:1-2 (NASB):

Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.

That is wonderfully good news! I have had the opportunity to memorize it many times in the past and, honestly, most of those times I have just memorized it without trying to apply it in my own life. I know that I do not learn Scripture or scriptural lessons well if I don't have something tangible to apply them to. In those cases I feel that they are good lessons, but vague and I have difficulty understanding how that change can be made in my life. So, all that said, praise God that He is showing me the vastness of my greed, how it affects my relationships and what I will be able to do once I no longer surrender to it.

I also appreciate this class because we begin with the basics of our faith and (re)define terms that we use (like justification, sanctification, etc.). I think it will help us understand more fully and be able to define "Christianese" terms that may be unknown to others. One of the terms that we went over was "stronghold". This word often gets used, I think, to describe a long-term area of sin, a habitual sin or something that is too hard to give up. It makes me think of something binding me. It makes me think of something that I consider more powerful than myself (and what of God, then?). Our pastor included this quote:

Stronghold - to accept as unchangeable something you know to be contrary to the will of God.
~ Ed Silvoso

Is my greed a stronghold? Is it unchangeable in my life? Not according to Romans 12:1-2 above. Neither according to Philippians 1:6:

For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.

And certainly not in Romans 8:38-39:

For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Maybe stronghold comes from the fact that I have a firm grip (a strong hold, if you will) on the sin because I find it enjoyable. Or necessary. Or helpful. Or ________.

The gospel, the good news of Christ, the "euaggelion" from Greek, makes the only way possible for transformation. That transformation comes through belief in Jesus, the power of the Holy Spirit and the renewal of my mind. Thank God He already took care of the hard part! Now if I can just loosen my grip...

Yesterday I listened to a sermon that I missed from a few weeks ago at church. The topic was lordship. Honestly, I was at my desk working as I listened to the download so I didn't really focus on all of it. That said, there is one quote that caught my attention:

"The purest form of hate is indifference"

Apathy. Ouch, that smarts, but I know it to be so true. When I know there is sin in my life and I don't deal with it I am apathetic to the command of my Lord. When I hear that there is a need in my community and I don't step up as God leads I am indifferent to His love.

So, am I indifferent, apathetic, tolerant or accepting of greed? Last night I was and my tummy is paying for it now :p

I hate seeing greed in others. Why do I consider myself an exception? Why do I accept it in my life? Maybe it's because it has been a constant companion thus far and it's hard to shake.

Lord, you have given me so many examples of generosity - from family, from friends and from strangers. It is beautiful and humbling. I want to have that same spirit and ability and DESIRE to give freely, holding nothing back. Help me to see the gifts that you give me as tools to be generous to others. Help me to choose, moment by moment, not to be greedy with food. I am so tired of the drive to eat when no one else is around so I can have it all for myself. Lord, my thinking is pitiful. Change my mind, renew it, Lord, as I focus on you, your generosity and example for my life. Thank you. Amen.

***I saw in the thinwith forums today a member's tagline that read Nehemiah 8:10

Nehemiah said, "Go and enjoy good food and sweet drinks. Send some to people who have none, because today is a holy day to the Lord. Don't be sad, because the joy of the Lord will make you strong." (New Century Version)

How beautiful! Enjoy good and drink. SHARE. Don't be greedy or gluttonous. Today can be holy to the Lord if I choose to make it that way. Joy from the Lord is my strength. Awesome!!

Surrender

The Lord is so faithful! When I ask Him to teach me He sends a flood of loving truth. My job is to listen, trust and obey.

I continue to go to the Lord for help and understanding about my greed and gluttony. Every day there is something, many things, new!

Yesterday, there were three (at least) very blatant ways in which the Lord was teaching me (make me teachable, Lord!).

First, in the service we sang a song that was new to me. It's called "Surrender" by Marc James. The lyrics are below.

I'm giving You my heart

All that is within

I lay it all down

For the sake of You my King

I'm giving You my dreams

laying down my rights

I'm giving up my pride

For the promise of new life

And I Surrender

All to You, all to You

I'm singing You this song

I'm waiting at the Cross

All the world holds dear

I count it all as loss

For the sake of knowing You

For the glory of Your name

To know the lasting joy

Even sharing in Your pain

I've often had difficulty saying "I surrender all" because I know in my heart that I'm not surrendering "all", I don't even know what "all" is. However, it is much more meaningful to me to choose one thing to work on at a time (I find I make much more progress in my spiritual growth). So, if I can choose, in that moment, to surrender my greed then I have found a tangible, workable way to honor my Lord.

Next, one of our teaching pastors, Daryl DelHouseaye, spoke on stewardship. Again, the Lord showed me that my greed does affect others and it keeps me from being a good steward of His precious gifts. Daryl is such an enjoyable speaker. If you are interested, you can go to the church's website and download the message on stewardship (part IV): http://www.gccaz.org/sermonseries.aspx.

Third, my normal Sunday school class/community group was pre-empted by an informational class on discipleship. They asked my class teacher to speak because he and his wife have spent nearly the last 50 years discipling people who desire to grow in the Lord. As I listened I felt the Lord nudging me saying that keeping all of the Lord's goodness to myself was greedy! Spending time just on my own leisure activities is greedy when I consider all of the people who don't know the Lord, or who haven't been mentored to walk in the Spirit. so, I signed-up for the 10-week course on discipleship. Sigh... back to marathon church on Sundays :)

Ok, Lord, You are teaching me and giving me many opportunities to grow. Help me to use these opportunities to their fullest. Help my unbelief and laziness so You are glorified. Amen.