09 July 2009

Day 11 TW - whoa

This chapter gave me another moment of revelation. I think God has slowly been working this idea in me for awhile, but just now is is coming all together.

As a younger Christian I had major difficulties with marriages passages in the Bible (like Ephesians 5. 22 and following) because I had grown up in an environment where I was taught that men weren't to be trusted. The Lord slowly got me through that and taught me that honoring my husband, if I were to have one, was an act of worship to the Lord (it really wasn't about my husband at all). Last year, before our wedding, my husband and I went through pre-marital counseling with a couple at our church. I really dug into what "submit" means. The Greek word transliterates as 'hypotasso': 'hypo' meaning 'under' and 'tasso' roughly meaning 'rank'. This is a military term. Soldiers know their rank and file and know they must maintain it for the good of their unit.

I have my own 'rank and file' in my marriage and at my work and I maintain my place (ok, sometimes I fight against it) for the good of my marriage and for the good of my job. What about my 'rank and file' place in the Lord's kingdom?

I've done lots of studies and heard many sermons on Romans 12:1:

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship

And I've often heard people comment that the reason why this is so hard for us is because a living sacrifice (in comparison with a dead one) can slink off of the table. I've had a desire for years to offer myself to the Lord, but I was never successful for more than a short while and I didn't understand why.

I think I get it now.

Even though my mouth was saying, "Yes, Lord, I'm Yours," my heart and my mind were off doing their own thing. I said,"Thy will be done," but I never lived in a state of giving my will over. I think I was unable, not just unwilling, but I think I had so much selfish pride hardening me that I did not have the capability to sacrificially follow the Lord.

If I'm convinced that I have to do what my bosses say to keep my job, I'm going to do it. I think I wasn't convinced of my place in the Lord's kingdom. I've got to 'hypotasso' myself to the Lord so He can accomplish what He has planned.

What rambling! It seems so simple and I'm sure it's not so hard for others to understand, but I think I get it now. My job is to obey the Lord in my God-given place in the kingdom. I'm not the master of my body. I didn't make it, I don't make it function and I don't know when it will stop functioning. Only the Lord knows! If I leave it to Him it seems like there's less for me to worry about. I can't believe how blown away I am. Lord, help me to know this Truth, to make it my own and to live it out. You are the best Commander-in-Chief! Amazingly, my 'rank and file' position isn't as just some unnamed foot soldier, no! I am an adopted daughter of the Most High. What an honored place! Thank, God, for teaching me. Help me to follow You when my flesh seems more comfortable and guide me to continually give my will over to Yours. Amen!

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