The last couple of weeks on night shift has been difficult, but interesting and enlightening. The difficulty mainly comes from lack of rest. I have been praying a lot about rest and safe driving in the morning (although, praise God, I drive home against traffic). The other area of difficulty has been in the realm of eating. I walk around like a zombie during the day and have very little discernment. During the first week I really found that I was eating a lot. I didn't know if I was hungry. By the grace of God I'm starting to sleep better during the day (dark curtains, a cold room and an eye mask) and I'm trying to wait until I'm hungry (not when I'm bored or frustrated with not sleeping).
The interesting part comes purely from being at the hospital at night - especially on the weekends. There are cases that are tragic, frustrating and sad, but there are others that just make me laugh out loud - you can't make this stuff up! My favorite one is from a couple of years ago: a women came into the ER and her main complaint was "eye crusties" (you know, like sleep in your eyes ). The best part was that, when examined, she didn't have any. The truth is that she had been drinking a lot and needed a place to sleep it off. Maybe we were punchy at 3am, but we busted out laughing. Sometimes you just need something silly to bring you back from a very sad case.
The enlightening part is that I've spent a good amount of time meditating on a few truths in the middle of the night. Our study in Ephesians has been awesome. We're moving through chapter 5 now and there are a number of verses that seems to tell us about how to behave. However, if taken into context with the previous 4 chapters, it is very clear that we are in Christ and then He does the work. It's HIS behavior. The principle verses we looked at we 5.15-17:
Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil. So then do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.
In Sit, Walk, Stand, Nee then slowly builds an argument for "redeeming your time" (in the NSAB above as "making the most of your time." Essentially, we are to be seated in Christ and let Him do the work, however the time that we have on Earth is brief, so we need to be wise about how we spend the time. We are to be prepared (1 Peter 1:13) for any action that the Lord would like to do thought us. Nee says:
"Those who are wise redeem the time. Just as my fountain pen is now filled and ready to my hand for immediate use, so by cooperating with the Lord, the wise provide God with what he wants: handy tools, instantly available to him."
I want to be ready so that I can participate in God's amazing work in the world. I want to "pickle" in the Word and in great books/music/media that glorify the Lord and that strengthen me in my walk. I think the crux of the Walk chapter is this: "Get clear about the will of God". Understand it - its purpose, function and basic plan.
I've also spent a ton of time listening to Christian radio. It's my company at night when I'm alone in the office. This particular station doesn't play a huge variety of songs, but I've really made myself listen to the lyrics and process them. They've started playing a version of "Revelation Song", which I've loved for some time. It's just about praising the Lord for His attributes. "I" don't come up at all in the song.
God has allowed me many resources to focus on Him rather than on food to get me through the night sift. In the past I would have congratulated myself on surviving the night by buying ice cream. I still want to, but the Lord has freed me from the bondage that made me "feel" like I had to.
Praise His name. Ha shem.
No comments:
Post a Comment