The other week, when we were staying at a hotel, I caught a show on cable about identity make-overs (or, at least, that's how it seems to me). The episode I saw was about a high school girl who wanted to be made over to become prom queen. The girl got a coach (a former beauty queen) who stared her on identity activities. One activity was to ask her classmates to anonymously tell how they viewed her. Some of the negative remarks were that she was angry, bossy and controlling.
It was so interesting to watch this girl. She wanted to be prom queen because she felt overshadowed by her "perfect" (fraternal) twin sister who was, as she said, "pretty", "skinny" and was going to be their valedictorian. It seemed to me that the make-over girl felt out of control because life didn't go as she expected. So, she began to behave in ways that allowed her to "control" her life (being mean to others, gossiping, over-eating, shying-away from others - or rejecting them before they rejected her).
I have been thinking about this show for the last couple of weeks because it SO REMINDS ME OF ME. It's almost painful. I realized looking at her story that mine was similar. I was really angry back then. At everyone. Because of everything. I gossiped and complained all of the time. I was very sarcastic. My sister says I was bossy. I'm sure I was. I tried to take charge of everything (daughter of Eve!).
It makes me sad to think of how I probably treated others around me. However, I am oh-so-thankful to see how far the Lord has brought me. He has taught me so much about Him, about myself, about my place in His kingdom and my role in His will. I continue to pray to be freed up from self-focus, anger, pettiness, jealously, fear and most of all pride.
Thank you, Jesus, for a great lesson!
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