I think we're ten days or so into Lent, and, therefore, ten days into Yvonne's "no TV time". It hasn't been terribly difficult, but there are times when it's harder. I hadn't planned on watching TV on Friday night, but I was in the living room with my husand, trying to talk to him, and he had the Olympics on. I saw a couple of speed skating races (oh no, Ono!). Once I realized what I was doing, I stopped watching TV and decided, "No more for me!" and I stopped. No big deal.
I observed and corrected. Now, why is that so hard for me to do in eating?
First, I think I'm still believing some lies about food (like "it's a worse sin to eat than to do X, therefore I must suffer more condemnation", maybe). I need to take some time to sit with the Lord and go through these thoughts, checking for their validity. Second, I believe (rightly or not) that there are bigger/worse repercussions for not eating in the Spirit than there are for not doing X in the Spirit. This may not be entirely untrue. If I overeat, it will show in my sluggishness and on my body. If I, for example, watch TV when I said that I won't, what's the harm (given such benign programming as the Olympics)? Hmm, I've got to let myself be still for awhile and let this stew...
So, maybe I condemn myself too much for not eating in the Spirit (this phrase, by the way, comes from 'Walking in the Spirit" or, living my life abiding in Christ). However, I wonder if I don't really hate the sin of idolizing food. I say this because my husband and I have been talking for weeks now about the financial problems of family and friends. Honestly, I have a hard time understanding how/why somebody would think, "I can't afford X, but I want it, so I'll use credit to obtain it." I know this is rampant in America, including among believers. this is something that I truly hate. Why? My childhood was littered with family debt problems. After my father left my mother continued living as she used to (without a job). In part, I know that she shopped to make herself feel better and she wanted others to think that everything was ok. By late elementary, I was answering collectors' phone calls telling them that my mommy wasn't home - she was, she just didn't want to deal. I became so afraid of debt that I refused to get a credit card in college. I eventually did, once I learned that I didn't have to use it. My husband and I are still trying to help my mom deal with her financial issues many years later.
I have Christian friends who say, "please pray for me that God will help me get out of debt," yet they remain in their same behavior. If belief really does cause behavior, then there thinking isn't right. Now, we're told in 1 Corinthians 5:12 (NASB):
For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Do you not judge those who are within the church? But those who are outside, God judges.
This is given in a discourse about dealing with sexual immorality within the church. I am extending ti to other sins - if I am wrong in doing so, please correct me. I read that we (believers) are not to judge unbelievers. God will take care of that. We are, however, called to show bretheren the truth and discipline them. Jesus explains the process in Matthew 18:15-20 (NASB):
"If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother. "But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that BY THE MOUTH OF TWO OR THREE WITNESSES EVERY FACT MAY BE CONFIRMED. "If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. "Truly I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall have been bound in heaven; and whatever you loose on earth shall have been loosed in heaven. "Again I say to you, that if two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by My Father who is in heaven. "For where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst."
So, what do I do if a believer will not repent? Becuase, truly, as long as I continue to idolize food and "perfect" body images, am I not the same? Are we unwilling to submit to the Lord and eat/shop/live/talk/walk in the Spirit? Going back several paragraphs, do I not hate being greedy food? I don't have the same reaction to eating unnecessarily as I do to purchasing unnecessarily. I think if I did then I would truly be dead to this sin and no longer submit to slavery of food.
Lord, I am frustrated! Again and again I eat impulsivly. I do not slow down to consider what I need. I don not consider You. I do and then think. I am frustrated with friends who say they long to submit to You in some are of their lives, yet it appears that they do not. Help me to come along side them in truth and love. Help me accept Your truth and love. Help me not to be greedy with food. You said, Jesus, that I am to be aware and be on guard against EVERY form of greed in Luke 12:15. Help me! I want victory over this sin and I want You to have the glory. I just feel that if I hated overeating like I hat overspending, then I would be done with this sin today. Carry me! Thank you, Amen.
28 February 2010
24 February 2010
Greed verses
For my discipleship class at church they’ve asked all of us to choose a “transformational issue” to work on. I’m fairly certain that means an area of sin or disobedience. So, I’ve chosen “greed” since it’s the area that the Lord has brought me to.
They asked us to create a list of steps that we can take as we move through this transformation. A friend of mine, who is also taking the class, is having some difficult not turning those steps into law. I feel pretty free in these steps and the Lord has already taken me through some of them:
1. Go to God asking for His enlightenment about greed, what it looks like in my life, what scripture says about it, how He views it as sin and what I need to do to repent of it.
2. Once I begin to learn about those things listed in step #1, I will pray as I need help or discernment with any particular greed. I will need to pray constantly as I choose to repent of greed (in thought and deed) as I deal with my physical and emotional responses to the lack of giving in to greed. There will be moments when I am totally unable to even desire to repent of greed and through prayer I will be able to ask God to deliver me.
3. I will ask for accountability in this transformation process. I already have my husband’s support and I can utilize women through Thin within and my own ladies’ Bible study. Additionally, I will use journaling (3 or 4 times per week) as a way to work out my thoughts or feelings as I move through this transformation process.
I think those are solid steps that I can count on. It’s not a law. If I don’t do one or if I have trouble there is no condemnation. The Lord is carrying me. Additionally, they’ve asked us to come up with one verse or section of scripture (I picked 3) that we are to memorize concerning out issue. These are mine (all from NASB):
Luke 12:15
Then He said to them, “Beware and be on guard against every form of greed, for not even when on has an abundance does his life consist of his possessions.”
Ephesians 5:3
But immorality or any impurity or greed must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints.
Colossians 3:5
Therefore, consider the members of your earthly body as dead to immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire and greed, which amounts to idolatry.
I chose these three because all say something important to me about greed. In Luke, Jesus teaches us that life is more than stuff(ing). In Ephesians Paul says that greed ≠ saintliness. We are saints and ambassadors of Christ to the world (2 Cor 5.20) and as such the world should never think our greed represents anything remotely resembling Christ. In the letter to the Colossians, Paul explains that greed = idolatry. It means that I love something more than the Lord.
So, I’m slowly working on putting all of this to memory – and to practice!
Lord, may all of this been done in Your name and in the power of the Holy Spirit so that You get the glory of any transformation in me and that I may not grow weary in/of the process. Amen!
They asked us to create a list of steps that we can take as we move through this transformation. A friend of mine, who is also taking the class, is having some difficult not turning those steps into law. I feel pretty free in these steps and the Lord has already taken me through some of them:
1. Go to God asking for His enlightenment about greed, what it looks like in my life, what scripture says about it, how He views it as sin and what I need to do to repent of it.
2. Once I begin to learn about those things listed in step #1, I will pray as I need help or discernment with any particular greed. I will need to pray constantly as I choose to repent of greed (in thought and deed) as I deal with my physical and emotional responses to the lack of giving in to greed. There will be moments when I am totally unable to even desire to repent of greed and through prayer I will be able to ask God to deliver me.
3. I will ask for accountability in this transformation process. I already have my husband’s support and I can utilize women through Thin within and my own ladies’ Bible study. Additionally, I will use journaling (3 or 4 times per week) as a way to work out my thoughts or feelings as I move through this transformation process.
I think those are solid steps that I can count on. It’s not a law. If I don’t do one or if I have trouble there is no condemnation. The Lord is carrying me. Additionally, they’ve asked us to come up with one verse or section of scripture (I picked 3) that we are to memorize concerning out issue. These are mine (all from NASB):
Luke 12:15
Then He said to them, “Beware and be on guard against every form of greed, for not even when on has an abundance does his life consist of his possessions.”
Ephesians 5:3
But immorality or any impurity or greed must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints.
Colossians 3:5
Therefore, consider the members of your earthly body as dead to immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire and greed, which amounts to idolatry.
I chose these three because all say something important to me about greed. In Luke, Jesus teaches us that life is more than stuff(ing). In Ephesians Paul says that greed ≠ saintliness. We are saints and ambassadors of Christ to the world (2 Cor 5.20) and as such the world should never think our greed represents anything remotely resembling Christ. In the letter to the Colossians, Paul explains that greed = idolatry. It means that I love something more than the Lord.
So, I’m slowly working on putting all of this to memory – and to practice!
Lord, may all of this been done in Your name and in the power of the Holy Spirit so that You get the glory of any transformation in me and that I may not grow weary in/of the process. Amen!
23 February 2010
Eating like a woman posessed!
AARGH!
Truth be told, I haven’t eaten that much, especially in comparison to previous eating habits, but I feel like I’m totally consumed with, well, consuming food. Actually, most of what I’ve had today is even good for me (ok, minus the doughnut at lunch, I’ve had toast, cereal with yogurt and edemame – that’s it!).
So what’s the deal?
The deal is that I’ve got some stress triggers floating around in my brain and in my environment. In the past, I’ve used food to distract or numb myself from the problems. Even though I know better, today I’ve been choosing to go to food rather than God with my problem. Go figure – it’s not working. Now that I am wise to the fact that food is just stuff(ing) it holds no power, real or imagined, to improve my situation.
So, if I can understand that food has no power to help me, why do I return to it? Why do I give myself over to it? Habit? Maybe. I can’t come up with anything else because I don’t even desire it (I desire its imagined effects, but I don’t long for the food itself).
Aargh.
God, I have not been still today. Even in my Bible study I was mentally consumed by other things. Consumed with fear of not getting what I think is best. Consumed with not getting my way. Lord, it is greed and selfishness. This time I’m not greedy for food, but I am using it as a substitute for the things that I really desire in this moment like having my way! I’m not at peace. I don’t have joy. I’m not walking in the Spirit and I’m using food as a means to counterfeit peace and joy. When I pray it and write it out, it all seems so silly. Lord, you are the author of all things True and logical. Thank you for encouraging me to slooow down and write to you about my thoughts and fear. Thank you for helping me to recognize that I am using food as a substitute for other forms of greed and not getting my way. I have so far to go Lord, but I know you patiently carry me all the way through. Amen.
Less aargh. More praise :)
Truth be told, I haven’t eaten that much, especially in comparison to previous eating habits, but I feel like I’m totally consumed with, well, consuming food. Actually, most of what I’ve had today is even good for me (ok, minus the doughnut at lunch, I’ve had toast, cereal with yogurt and edemame – that’s it!).
So what’s the deal?
The deal is that I’ve got some stress triggers floating around in my brain and in my environment. In the past, I’ve used food to distract or numb myself from the problems. Even though I know better, today I’ve been choosing to go to food rather than God with my problem. Go figure – it’s not working. Now that I am wise to the fact that food is just stuff(ing) it holds no power, real or imagined, to improve my situation.
So, if I can understand that food has no power to help me, why do I return to it? Why do I give myself over to it? Habit? Maybe. I can’t come up with anything else because I don’t even desire it (I desire its imagined effects, but I don’t long for the food itself).
Aargh.
God, I have not been still today. Even in my Bible study I was mentally consumed by other things. Consumed with fear of not getting what I think is best. Consumed with not getting my way. Lord, it is greed and selfishness. This time I’m not greedy for food, but I am using it as a substitute for the things that I really desire in this moment like having my way! I’m not at peace. I don’t have joy. I’m not walking in the Spirit and I’m using food as a means to counterfeit peace and joy. When I pray it and write it out, it all seems so silly. Lord, you are the author of all things True and logical. Thank you for encouraging me to slooow down and write to you about my thoughts and fear. Thank you for helping me to recognize that I am using food as a substitute for other forms of greed and not getting my way. I have so far to go Lord, but I know you patiently carry me all the way through. Amen.
Less aargh. More praise :)
22 February 2010
Daily affirmations
"I'm Good Enough, I'm Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like Me!"
Daily Affirmations With Stuart Smalley from Saturday Night Live
I don't mean that kind of daily affirmation, but I thought that's what they meant when they first told me about it. Three weeks ago I started a new class at church for those interested in discipling others. Each week we go over basic information of our faith (more as a means to share it with others than confirm our own belief) and we have homework exercises to help us confirm what we know is true and memorize scripture.
Last week they began with the Daily Affirmations exercise. They gave us two sheets of 11 affirmations total. Before I read them I though, "Come on, really? Am I going to stand in front of the mirror and make myself believe this stuff?" Fortunately, I don't have to. These affirmations cover basic tenents of our belief: who God the Father is, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit; that I am fully loved by Him; my purpose is to love God and serve him in worship; things of that nature. To me they aren't so much daily affirmations, rather biblical truths. I only wish they had included scriptural references to back-up each affirmation.
As homework they've asked us to come up with five of our own affirmations. I've actually found this to be a rewarding activity. I chose five topics that I think are important for me to focus on, aside form the 11 already given. I also chose to look up Bible references for each to substantiate my affirmations. They are as follows:
1. My spiritual completion is found in Jesus. Even though I may never be complete/sinless in this flesh I choose, in this moment, to live in the wholeness of Him who perfected me. The Yvonne of the future walks in the Spirit continually, so I choose to do the same now. (Galatians 5:16, 25; 1 John 2:5)
2. I am more than a conqueror in Christ Jesus. In Him I have full victory over sin, death, the flesh and the power of Satan. Therefore, there is no room for victim mentality or excuses. (Romans 8:37; 1 Corinthians 15:15; 1 John 5:4)
3. In Christ Jesus I am wholly acceptable to God. He proves that He accepts me by giving me His Holy Spirit. (Acts 15:8)
4. Even though I may not be able to answer "why?" I know that God has chosen me to glorify Him by His perfect will. (Deuteronomy 7:6; Joshua 24:22, Romans 8:33, Ephesians 1:11, Colossians 3:12, 1 Thessalonians 1:14, 1 Peter 1:1-2, 1 Peter 2:9)
5. My body is a temple of the Holy Spirit. He has made me holy, set me apart, and consecrated me for His presence and good works. Therefore, I choose to treat my body and honor it as a residence to the Holy Spirit. It is not my won; I am to care for it physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. (1 Corinthians 6:19-20)
These five affirmations reflect five areas of my life where I struggle believing the truth or living it out. I call these areas: completeness in Christ; victor, not victim; acceptable to God, chosen of/by God; and my body as a temple of the Holy Spirit.
Maybe I'll change Stuart's affirmation to:
"I'm loved enough, I'm empowered enough, and doggone it, Jesus like me!"
Daily Affirmations With Stuart Smalley from Saturday Night Live
I don't mean that kind of daily affirmation, but I thought that's what they meant when they first told me about it. Three weeks ago I started a new class at church for those interested in discipling others. Each week we go over basic information of our faith (more as a means to share it with others than confirm our own belief) and we have homework exercises to help us confirm what we know is true and memorize scripture.
Last week they began with the Daily Affirmations exercise. They gave us two sheets of 11 affirmations total. Before I read them I though, "Come on, really? Am I going to stand in front of the mirror and make myself believe this stuff?" Fortunately, I don't have to. These affirmations cover basic tenents of our belief: who God the Father is, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit; that I am fully loved by Him; my purpose is to love God and serve him in worship; things of that nature. To me they aren't so much daily affirmations, rather biblical truths. I only wish they had included scriptural references to back-up each affirmation.
As homework they've asked us to come up with five of our own affirmations. I've actually found this to be a rewarding activity. I chose five topics that I think are important for me to focus on, aside form the 11 already given. I also chose to look up Bible references for each to substantiate my affirmations. They are as follows:
1. My spiritual completion is found in Jesus. Even though I may never be complete/sinless in this flesh I choose, in this moment, to live in the wholeness of Him who perfected me. The Yvonne of the future walks in the Spirit continually, so I choose to do the same now. (Galatians 5:16, 25; 1 John 2:5)
2. I am more than a conqueror in Christ Jesus. In Him I have full victory over sin, death, the flesh and the power of Satan. Therefore, there is no room for victim mentality or excuses. (Romans 8:37; 1 Corinthians 15:15; 1 John 5:4)
3. In Christ Jesus I am wholly acceptable to God. He proves that He accepts me by giving me His Holy Spirit. (Acts 15:8)
4. Even though I may not be able to answer "why?" I know that God has chosen me to glorify Him by His perfect will. (Deuteronomy 7:6; Joshua 24:22, Romans 8:33, Ephesians 1:11, Colossians 3:12, 1 Thessalonians 1:14, 1 Peter 1:1-2, 1 Peter 2:9)
5. My body is a temple of the Holy Spirit. He has made me holy, set me apart, and consecrated me for His presence and good works. Therefore, I choose to treat my body and honor it as a residence to the Holy Spirit. It is not my won; I am to care for it physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. (1 Corinthians 6:19-20)
These five affirmations reflect five areas of my life where I struggle believing the truth or living it out. I call these areas: completeness in Christ; victor, not victim; acceptable to God, chosen of/by God; and my body as a temple of the Holy Spirit.
Maybe I'll change Stuart's affirmation to:
"I'm loved enough, I'm empowered enough, and doggone it, Jesus like me!"
20 February 2010
Giving myself over
I'm slowly making my way through "Get Thin Stay Thin" by the Hallidays. I really wish the book had maintained its former title of "Silent Hunger" because I think that much more accurately describes their main theme: we all have a silent soul hunger that can only be filled by God and any other attempt at filling it will be fruitless and hurtful.
Chapter 6's title is "Dependence Not Addiction". I've only read half of the chapter so far but it is speaking volumes to me. Let me quote some of it.
"Our authentic need for intimacy, when unment, opens the door to addictions. The word addiction derives from the Latin addicere meaning to give assent - to give up or to give over." (p 123)
I love word studies (I'm a linguist and translator) because they make meaning come alive to me. I am so thankful to learn that the root meaning of addiction indicates that I (willingly?) give myself up or give myself over to that which I choose to control me. You see, most of the time when I hear the word "addiction" used, it always seems like it expresses that the person is not at fault. They cannot help themselves. It's their addiction (said in a whisper). Yet the root word indicates a choice. I can't give myself over to anything against my will. Giving, I'm pretty sure, is always an act of the will.
Of course I understand that many may be genetically or emotionally predisposed to certain actions, but it is always our choice to perform those actions.
The point is: I can't blame food, or anyone or anything else for that matter.
"Addiction results from a misplaced human attempt to satisfy our legitimate, God-given need for intimacy." (p. 124) The Hallidays then go on to write that as we continue ignoring our need for the Lord it gets buried under more and more layers of self-reliance and addiction. I think intimacy becomes really foreign to us, at least to me. Over the last three or four years God has been growing me in this area and it has been hard and scary and painful. As much as I need intimacy with the Lord and with fellow believers, it's often not comfortable, because I'm not used to it. It's much more comfortable for me to make a joke, change the subject or turn on the TV to avoid it. That has been my M.O. for years and I think it will take many more to move away from it.
In my ladies' Bible study we're looking at Mary and Martha this week. I've always kind of felt bad for Martha (maybe because I'm just like her). She, too, believed Jesus, but she allowed herself to get distracted from Him. Maybe she had to go through the same unlearning process as I do - changing her old addictive "do" attitude for a new "be" attitude. Martha needed to learn how to give herself over to the Lord completely. So do I.
***************************************
On another note: I can't believe how much free time I have without the TV. This morning my husband and I did some work in the back yard, did a load of laundry, had breakfast and vacuumed the house before 10am. He's been a good sport putting up with me and my boredom. Last night he told me, "I'm happy to support you in this, but I don't have to carry you through it. You've got to figure it out for yourself." He's totally right. I've got to give it to the Lord and let Him show me what to do with my time and energy.
Chapter 6's title is "Dependence Not Addiction". I've only read half of the chapter so far but it is speaking volumes to me. Let me quote some of it.
"Our authentic need for intimacy, when unment, opens the door to addictions. The word addiction derives from the Latin addicere meaning to give assent - to give up or to give over." (p 123)
I love word studies (I'm a linguist and translator) because they make meaning come alive to me. I am so thankful to learn that the root meaning of addiction indicates that I (willingly?) give myself up or give myself over to that which I choose to control me. You see, most of the time when I hear the word "addiction" used, it always seems like it expresses that the person is not at fault. They cannot help themselves. It's their addiction (said in a whisper). Yet the root word indicates a choice. I can't give myself over to anything against my will. Giving, I'm pretty sure, is always an act of the will.
Of course I understand that many may be genetically or emotionally predisposed to certain actions, but it is always our choice to perform those actions.
The point is: I can't blame food, or anyone or anything else for that matter.
"Addiction results from a misplaced human attempt to satisfy our legitimate, God-given need for intimacy." (p. 124) The Hallidays then go on to write that as we continue ignoring our need for the Lord it gets buried under more and more layers of self-reliance and addiction. I think intimacy becomes really foreign to us, at least to me. Over the last three or four years God has been growing me in this area and it has been hard and scary and painful. As much as I need intimacy with the Lord and with fellow believers, it's often not comfortable, because I'm not used to it. It's much more comfortable for me to make a joke, change the subject or turn on the TV to avoid it. That has been my M.O. for years and I think it will take many more to move away from it.
In my ladies' Bible study we're looking at Mary and Martha this week. I've always kind of felt bad for Martha (maybe because I'm just like her). She, too, believed Jesus, but she allowed herself to get distracted from Him. Maybe she had to go through the same unlearning process as I do - changing her old addictive "do" attitude for a new "be" attitude. Martha needed to learn how to give herself over to the Lord completely. So do I.
***************************************
On another note: I can't believe how much free time I have without the TV. This morning my husband and I did some work in the back yard, did a load of laundry, had breakfast and vacuumed the house before 10am. He's been a good sport putting up with me and my boredom. Last night he told me, "I'm happy to support you in this, but I don't have to carry you through it. You've got to figure it out for yourself." He's totally right. I've got to give it to the Lord and let Him show me what to do with my time and energy.
18 February 2010
Giving up
My journal/blog entry yesterday was about giving up (my)self because that is what Jesus taught His disciples in John 15:13. The idea has really rocked my world and it's made me think A LOT about what I'm willing to give up and what I need to give up.
I decided to give up something for Lent. I'm not from a church background that practices giving up luxuries for Lent, but it is something that I have chosen to do a few times in the past. I know that it doesn't have any bearing on my salvation (that was already bought and paid for by Jesus), but I find that it can have a positive effect on my relationship with the Lord (therefore, a step in the right direction of my sanctification - being transformed into Christ's likeness).
Once before I gave up sweets but I am NOT in a place where I could do that without diet mentality. So, I decided to give up TV. My husband and I have only the most basic of cable (because it comes with the Internet) which gives us just 20 channels. However, I still watch an obscene amount of TV. I get up and the news goes on. I come home and the news or some sit-com goes on. On the weekend I watch multiple hours of PBS cooking shows (I'm sure there's a boundary to be set there).
It's too much. Also, it facilitates mindless eating. I know that Thin Within advocates for mindful, no-distractions eating yet I usually choose not to practice it (it IS a choice I make, no pinning the blame elsewhere!).
So, yesterday was my first no TV day. I felt like I had a lot more time in the morning to get ready (go figure). Then, when I got home I was able to do some chores, sit and enjoy my dinner, talk with my husband without distractions and read a good book. Oh - and I also went to bed at a decent time so I wasn't dragging myself out of bed this morning. All that because I didn't watch TV.
For most of my time in college I didn't have a TV so I know how to live without it, but I so easily let myself get sucked in (again, a choice). I'm not being legalistic about it. My husband is free to watch (I won't deprive him of the Olympics). I just choose not to sit there. I think I'm going to get so much stuff done in the next six weeks! And, and, I'm looking forward to longer times of Bible study without distractions.
Now, there is nothing sinful about TV in and of itself (well, the machine itself or the idea of the programming; I'm not going to debate quality of the shows). There is also nothing godly about giving up watching TV in and of itself. The idea behind it is that I need to set some boundaries about my TV watching and it's healthy for me to fast from it for awhile. I just happened to chose to do it during Lent.
There is one part that I will have to really be intentional about ;)
My local YMCA has individual TV monitors with cable on the treadmills. I loved going on Saturday mornings and walking on the treadmill while watching the Food Network programs that I don't get at home.
Hmm... I might just have to step outside and walk in the beautiful 75 degree weather in Arizona. What a thought! :)
1 Peter 1:13-16 (NIV)
Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed. As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: "Be holy, because I am holy."
I decided to give up something for Lent. I'm not from a church background that practices giving up luxuries for Lent, but it is something that I have chosen to do a few times in the past. I know that it doesn't have any bearing on my salvation (that was already bought and paid for by Jesus), but I find that it can have a positive effect on my relationship with the Lord (therefore, a step in the right direction of my sanctification - being transformed into Christ's likeness).
Once before I gave up sweets but I am NOT in a place where I could do that without diet mentality. So, I decided to give up TV. My husband and I have only the most basic of cable (because it comes with the Internet) which gives us just 20 channels. However, I still watch an obscene amount of TV. I get up and the news goes on. I come home and the news or some sit-com goes on. On the weekend I watch multiple hours of PBS cooking shows (I'm sure there's a boundary to be set there).
It's too much. Also, it facilitates mindless eating. I know that Thin Within advocates for mindful, no-distractions eating yet I usually choose not to practice it (it IS a choice I make, no pinning the blame elsewhere!).
So, yesterday was my first no TV day. I felt like I had a lot more time in the morning to get ready (go figure). Then, when I got home I was able to do some chores, sit and enjoy my dinner, talk with my husband without distractions and read a good book. Oh - and I also went to bed at a decent time so I wasn't dragging myself out of bed this morning. All that because I didn't watch TV.
For most of my time in college I didn't have a TV so I know how to live without it, but I so easily let myself get sucked in (again, a choice). I'm not being legalistic about it. My husband is free to watch (I won't deprive him of the Olympics). I just choose not to sit there. I think I'm going to get so much stuff done in the next six weeks! And, and, I'm looking forward to longer times of Bible study without distractions.
Now, there is nothing sinful about TV in and of itself (well, the machine itself or the idea of the programming; I'm not going to debate quality of the shows). There is also nothing godly about giving up watching TV in and of itself. The idea behind it is that I need to set some boundaries about my TV watching and it's healthy for me to fast from it for awhile. I just happened to chose to do it during Lent.
There is one part that I will have to really be intentional about ;)
My local YMCA has individual TV monitors with cable on the treadmills. I loved going on Saturday mornings and walking on the treadmill while watching the Food Network programs that I don't get at home.
Hmm... I might just have to step outside and walk in the beautiful 75 degree weather in Arizona. What a thought! :)
1 Peter 1:13-16 (NIV)
Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed. As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: "Be holy, because I am holy."
16 February 2010
ψυχην
Psuche. Psyche. Soul. Will. Self. That which makes you you. Pride.
In John 15:13 Jesus says (NASB):
Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.
I was slowly working through chapter 15 a few weeks ago in Greek and I was puzzled by this verse. I expected to see words like "zoe" (life) or even maybe "bios" (physical life). Instead it read "psuche".
Jesus was telling them, and us, that the greatest show of love isn't physically dying for them, rather it is putting aside our wants, thoughts, and opinions for their good.
For me this is revolutionary. I used to think that it was huge that Jesus physically died for us... and it is. However, I've come to learn over the last few years that it must have been so much more difficult for Him to step away from divinity so that (with the purpose of) we could be reconciled to Him. It's totally amazing.
It's also a huge call. I find Jesus asking me, then, if I consider Him a friend. If so, am I willing to lay down my "ψυχην" for Him? am I willing to give up that which has made me me?
In John 15:13 Jesus says (NASB):
Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.
I was slowly working through chapter 15 a few weeks ago in Greek and I was puzzled by this verse. I expected to see words like "zoe" (life) or even maybe "bios" (physical life). Instead it read "psuche".
Jesus was telling them, and us, that the greatest show of love isn't physically dying for them, rather it is putting aside our wants, thoughts, and opinions for their good.
For me this is revolutionary. I used to think that it was huge that Jesus physically died for us... and it is. However, I've come to learn over the last few years that it must have been so much more difficult for Him to step away from divinity so that (with the purpose of) we could be reconciled to Him. It's totally amazing.
It's also a huge call. I find Jesus asking me, then, if I consider Him a friend. If so, am I willing to lay down my "ψυχην" for Him? am I willing to give up that which has made me me?
11 February 2010
Watch where you're driving!
There was a little bit of a learning curve for me when I first was learning how to drive. While other teenagers are off and running, it took me longer to get some of the basics down. Looking back, I know that's because my focus was all wrong. When driving, you have to be aware of your surroundings: the street, the other cars, buildings, pedestrians, etc. when I first started I kept staring at just the nose (the front of the hood) of the car. I was really concerned about where I was taking the car so I was somewhat convinced that I needed to focus on the car itself.
Had I continued in that vein, I would have quickly had an accident. My focus needed not to be on myself (the car) but on what was going on around me. I think there may be a good spiritual application in all of this. If I continue to focus on myself I'm going to miss the things that happen around me and I could potentially get really hurt!
It is becoming more and more obvious to me how self-serving greed is. When I focus on what I want I miss out on knowing the Lord more, on seeing His work, on participating in His will, on enjoying His creation and His people. Even one moment of idolatry can rob me of enjoying Him.
If I could only remember that on a moment by moment basis... sigh. It's a question of perseverance. I knew that the Bible gives us various examples of perseverance and exhorts us to persevere, but I didn't know until today that the Lord gives us perseverance. In Romans 15:5-6 Paul gives this prayer/blessing:
"Now may the God who gives perseverance and encouragement grant you to be of the same mind with one another according to Christ Jesus, so that with one accord you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ."
Paul defines our God as one who gives perseverance AND encouragement. That's an encouragement to! I read that Paul is praying that God the Father allow us to have the same mind as Christ Jesus with the purpose that corporately the body of believers be able to glorify Him. What a wonderful prayer! Lord, may it be so! The Lord's work in our lives is ultimately for His glory - always. Thank You, Lord, for your encouragement. Thank You for giving me the ability to persevere in truth and love. Thank You for giving me a purpose.
I started thinking about perseverance because my hospital's thought for the day touches on it:
Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another. --Walter Elliott
The hard thing for me is being consistently intentional. I know, however, intentionality is like a muscle, it becomes stronger as I continue to use it. It's hard for me to pray for intentionality for the rest of my life, but I can pray that the Lord will help be choose to be intentional in this moment, maybe even in this hour - there's only 15 minutes left of it anyhow! :)
I have one more thought on intentionality for this morning. My friend, Jenny, offered us another driving analogy on Monday. She said, "If you don't want to hit a tree, don't look at it." When I focus on sin I'm much more likely to come into contact with it than when I focus on the Lord and walking in the Spirit. It's good advice. Be intentional about what you're looking at and meditating on.
Had I continued in that vein, I would have quickly had an accident. My focus needed not to be on myself (the car) but on what was going on around me. I think there may be a good spiritual application in all of this. If I continue to focus on myself I'm going to miss the things that happen around me and I could potentially get really hurt!
It is becoming more and more obvious to me how self-serving greed is. When I focus on what I want I miss out on knowing the Lord more, on seeing His work, on participating in His will, on enjoying His creation and His people. Even one moment of idolatry can rob me of enjoying Him.
If I could only remember that on a moment by moment basis... sigh. It's a question of perseverance. I knew that the Bible gives us various examples of perseverance and exhorts us to persevere, but I didn't know until today that the Lord gives us perseverance. In Romans 15:5-6 Paul gives this prayer/blessing:
"Now may the God who gives perseverance and encouragement grant you to be of the same mind with one another according to Christ Jesus, so that with one accord you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ."
Paul defines our God as one who gives perseverance AND encouragement. That's an encouragement to! I read that Paul is praying that God the Father allow us to have the same mind as Christ Jesus with the purpose that corporately the body of believers be able to glorify Him. What a wonderful prayer! Lord, may it be so! The Lord's work in our lives is ultimately for His glory - always. Thank You, Lord, for your encouragement. Thank You for giving me the ability to persevere in truth and love. Thank You for giving me a purpose.
I started thinking about perseverance because my hospital's thought for the day touches on it:
Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another. --Walter Elliott
The hard thing for me is being consistently intentional. I know, however, intentionality is like a muscle, it becomes stronger as I continue to use it. It's hard for me to pray for intentionality for the rest of my life, but I can pray that the Lord will help be choose to be intentional in this moment, maybe even in this hour - there's only 15 minutes left of it anyhow! :)
I have one more thought on intentionality for this morning. My friend, Jenny, offered us another driving analogy on Monday. She said, "If you don't want to hit a tree, don't look at it." When I focus on sin I'm much more likely to come into contact with it than when I focus on the Lord and walking in the Spirit. It's good advice. Be intentional about what you're looking at and meditating on.
10 February 2010
Gratitude is riches. Complaint is poverty. -- Doris Day
I work at a Catholic hospital and each day the Spiritual Services Department shares a prayer and a thought for the day. Despite it being a Catholic institution they use a lot of ideas from other faith traditions, as they word it. I really like the quote they sent out (above) from Doris Day. It goes along well with my desire to repent of greed.
I'm reading through "Three Cups of Tea". It is the story of Greg Mortenson, an American mountain climber turned educational philanthropist in Pakistan. It is a lovely story and it consistently teaches me of simple gratitude and how giving is so much greater than greed. I was especially struck by his account of opening a school in the days just after 9/11. In the Balti culture that he mainly has worked with they give fresh eggs as a token of grief. Mortenson tells how many widows in this particular village gave him eggs to take to the new widows in the "village of New York" because they longed to comfort them. What love! What a gift! I have so much to learn.
Now onto Bible study. In my discipleship class on Sunday we briefly touched on Colossians 3:1-5, but I felt that the Lord had more to teach me. This is about putting on the new self:
Therefore if you have been raised up with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth. For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is our life, is revealed, then you also will be revealed with Him in glory. Therefore consider the members of your earthly body as dead to immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and greed, which amounts to idolatry.
If I am in Christ (and I know that I am) then I am to set my mind on things above. Like what? The Lord, His truth, His Word and not the garbage that so easily entangles me down here. Additionally, I am to consider my earthly body dead to greed (as well as the other things listed, but I can only tackle them one at a time!). Furthermore, Paul defines greed as idolatry. Loving stuff. Loving food. Finding meaning and purpose from things created rather than from the Creator.
Christ is my life, Paul says. My life is hidden with Christ in God. the most meaningful thing about my life, my existence, is the fact that the spirit of the God of the Universe dwells in me. That is where my significance lies.
Thank You, Lord for this truth. I'm going to have to sit with it for awhile and let it sink in. Help me to meditate on your glorious provision for me and help me not meditate or idolize created things that we know eventually pass away and rot. Thank you, Lord, for providing me with something new to ponder each day. Keep it coming! Please don't stop until I get this down pat! Thank You for your consistent presence and faithfulness. Forgive me for not appreciating it as I should. Amen.
I'm reading through "Three Cups of Tea". It is the story of Greg Mortenson, an American mountain climber turned educational philanthropist in Pakistan. It is a lovely story and it consistently teaches me of simple gratitude and how giving is so much greater than greed. I was especially struck by his account of opening a school in the days just after 9/11. In the Balti culture that he mainly has worked with they give fresh eggs as a token of grief. Mortenson tells how many widows in this particular village gave him eggs to take to the new widows in the "village of New York" because they longed to comfort them. What love! What a gift! I have so much to learn.
Now onto Bible study. In my discipleship class on Sunday we briefly touched on Colossians 3:1-5, but I felt that the Lord had more to teach me. This is about putting on the new self:
Therefore if you have been raised up with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth. For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is our life, is revealed, then you also will be revealed with Him in glory. Therefore consider the members of your earthly body as dead to immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and greed, which amounts to idolatry.
If I am in Christ (and I know that I am) then I am to set my mind on things above. Like what? The Lord, His truth, His Word and not the garbage that so easily entangles me down here. Additionally, I am to consider my earthly body dead to greed (as well as the other things listed, but I can only tackle them one at a time!). Furthermore, Paul defines greed as idolatry. Loving stuff. Loving food. Finding meaning and purpose from things created rather than from the Creator.
Christ is my life, Paul says. My life is hidden with Christ in God. the most meaningful thing about my life, my existence, is the fact that the spirit of the God of the Universe dwells in me. That is where my significance lies.
Thank You, Lord for this truth. I'm going to have to sit with it for awhile and let it sink in. Help me to meditate on your glorious provision for me and help me not meditate or idolize created things that we know eventually pass away and rot. Thank you, Lord, for providing me with something new to ponder each day. Keep it coming! Please don't stop until I get this down pat! Thank You for your consistent presence and faithfulness. Forgive me for not appreciating it as I should. Amen.
08 February 2010
The Gospel and Transformation
I am taking a new class at church on Sunday mornings that serves as a training course for those who (may) desire to disciple another believer. I'm really quite excited about it since most churches that I've ever been a part of have focused on evangelism and not discipleship. Additionally, I think it will be good for me to look at this basic, essential biblical information so I can know it, own it and share it with others.
I'm also thankful that I am beginning this class with a specific sin issue to deal with. I know that may sound weird, but it allows me to take the information that we're learning and apply it directly to my life in a tangible way. For example, we are beginning with memorizing Romans 12:1-2 (NASB):
Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.
That is wonderfully good news! I have had the opportunity to memorize it many times in the past and, honestly, most of those times I have just memorized it without trying to apply it in my own life. I know that I do not learn Scripture or scriptural lessons well if I don't have something tangible to apply them to. In those cases I feel that they are good lessons, but vague and I have difficulty understanding how that change can be made in my life. So, all that said, praise God that He is showing me the vastness of my greed, how it affects my relationships and what I will be able to do once I no longer surrender to it.
I also appreciate this class because we begin with the basics of our faith and (re)define terms that we use (like justification, sanctification, etc.). I think it will help us understand more fully and be able to define "Christianese" terms that may be unknown to others. One of the terms that we went over was "stronghold". This word often gets used, I think, to describe a long-term area of sin, a habitual sin or something that is too hard to give up. It makes me think of something binding me. It makes me think of something that I consider more powerful than myself (and what of God, then?). Our pastor included this quote:
Stronghold - to accept as unchangeable something you know to be contrary to the will of God.
~ Ed Silvoso
Is my greed a stronghold? Is it unchangeable in my life? Not according to Romans 12:1-2 above. Neither according to Philippians 1:6:
For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.
And certainly not in Romans 8:38-39:
For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Maybe stronghold comes from the fact that I have a firm grip (a strong hold, if you will) on the sin because I find it enjoyable. Or necessary. Or helpful. Or ________.
The gospel, the good news of Christ, the "euaggelion" from Greek, makes the only way possible for transformation. That transformation comes through belief in Jesus, the power of the Holy Spirit and the renewal of my mind. Thank God He already took care of the hard part! Now if I can just loosen my grip...
I'm also thankful that I am beginning this class with a specific sin issue to deal with. I know that may sound weird, but it allows me to take the information that we're learning and apply it directly to my life in a tangible way. For example, we are beginning with memorizing Romans 12:1-2 (NASB):
Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.
That is wonderfully good news! I have had the opportunity to memorize it many times in the past and, honestly, most of those times I have just memorized it without trying to apply it in my own life. I know that I do not learn Scripture or scriptural lessons well if I don't have something tangible to apply them to. In those cases I feel that they are good lessons, but vague and I have difficulty understanding how that change can be made in my life. So, all that said, praise God that He is showing me the vastness of my greed, how it affects my relationships and what I will be able to do once I no longer surrender to it.
I also appreciate this class because we begin with the basics of our faith and (re)define terms that we use (like justification, sanctification, etc.). I think it will help us understand more fully and be able to define "Christianese" terms that may be unknown to others. One of the terms that we went over was "stronghold". This word often gets used, I think, to describe a long-term area of sin, a habitual sin or something that is too hard to give up. It makes me think of something binding me. It makes me think of something that I consider more powerful than myself (and what of God, then?). Our pastor included this quote:
Stronghold - to accept as unchangeable something you know to be contrary to the will of God.
~ Ed Silvoso
Is my greed a stronghold? Is it unchangeable in my life? Not according to Romans 12:1-2 above. Neither according to Philippians 1:6:
For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.
And certainly not in Romans 8:38-39:
For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Maybe stronghold comes from the fact that I have a firm grip (a strong hold, if you will) on the sin because I find it enjoyable. Or necessary. Or helpful. Or ________.
The gospel, the good news of Christ, the "euaggelion" from Greek, makes the only way possible for transformation. That transformation comes through belief in Jesus, the power of the Holy Spirit and the renewal of my mind. Thank God He already took care of the hard part! Now if I can just loosen my grip...
03 February 2010
Yesterday I listened to a sermon that I missed from a few weeks ago at church. The topic was lordship. Honestly, I was at my desk working as I listened to the download so I didn't really focus on all of it. That said, there is one quote that caught my attention:
"The purest form of hate is indifference"
Apathy. Ouch, that smarts, but I know it to be so true. When I know there is sin in my life and I don't deal with it I am apathetic to the command of my Lord. When I hear that there is a need in my community and I don't step up as God leads I am indifferent to His love.
So, am I indifferent, apathetic, tolerant or accepting of greed? Last night I was and my tummy is paying for it now :p
I hate seeing greed in others. Why do I consider myself an exception? Why do I accept it in my life? Maybe it's because it has been a constant companion thus far and it's hard to shake.
Lord, you have given me so many examples of generosity - from family, from friends and from strangers. It is beautiful and humbling. I want to have that same spirit and ability and DESIRE to give freely, holding nothing back. Help me to see the gifts that you give me as tools to be generous to others. Help me to choose, moment by moment, not to be greedy with food. I am so tired of the drive to eat when no one else is around so I can have it all for myself. Lord, my thinking is pitiful. Change my mind, renew it, Lord, as I focus on you, your generosity and example for my life. Thank you. Amen.
***I saw in the thinwith forums today a member's tagline that read Nehemiah 8:10
Nehemiah said, "Go and enjoy good food and sweet drinks. Send some to people who have none, because today is a holy day to the Lord. Don't be sad, because the joy of the Lord will make you strong." (New Century Version)
How beautiful! Enjoy good and drink. SHARE. Don't be greedy or gluttonous. Today can be holy to the Lord if I choose to make it that way. Joy from the Lord is my strength. Awesome!!
"The purest form of hate is indifference"
Apathy. Ouch, that smarts, but I know it to be so true. When I know there is sin in my life and I don't deal with it I am apathetic to the command of my Lord. When I hear that there is a need in my community and I don't step up as God leads I am indifferent to His love.
So, am I indifferent, apathetic, tolerant or accepting of greed? Last night I was and my tummy is paying for it now :p
I hate seeing greed in others. Why do I consider myself an exception? Why do I accept it in my life? Maybe it's because it has been a constant companion thus far and it's hard to shake.
Lord, you have given me so many examples of generosity - from family, from friends and from strangers. It is beautiful and humbling. I want to have that same spirit and ability and DESIRE to give freely, holding nothing back. Help me to see the gifts that you give me as tools to be generous to others. Help me to choose, moment by moment, not to be greedy with food. I am so tired of the drive to eat when no one else is around so I can have it all for myself. Lord, my thinking is pitiful. Change my mind, renew it, Lord, as I focus on you, your generosity and example for my life. Thank you. Amen.
***I saw in the thinwith forums today a member's tagline that read Nehemiah 8:10
Nehemiah said, "Go and enjoy good food and sweet drinks. Send some to people who have none, because today is a holy day to the Lord. Don't be sad, because the joy of the Lord will make you strong." (New Century Version)
How beautiful! Enjoy good and drink. SHARE. Don't be greedy or gluttonous. Today can be holy to the Lord if I choose to make it that way. Joy from the Lord is my strength. Awesome!!
01 February 2010
Surrender
The Lord is so faithful! When I ask Him to teach me He sends a flood of loving truth. My job is to listen, trust and obey.
I continue to go to the Lord for help and understanding about my greed and gluttony. Every day there is something, many things, new!
Yesterday, there were three (at least) very blatant ways in which the Lord was teaching me (make me teachable, Lord!).
First, in the service we sang a song that was new to me. It's called "Surrender" by Marc James. The lyrics are below.
I've often had difficulty saying "I surrender all" because I know in my heart that I'm not surrendering "all", I don't even know what "all" is. However, it is much more meaningful to me to choose one thing to work on at a time (I find I make much more progress in my spiritual growth). So, if I can choose, in that moment, to surrender my greed then I have found a tangible, workable way to honor my Lord.
Next, one of our teaching pastors, Daryl DelHouseaye, spoke on stewardship. Again, the Lord showed me that my greed does affect others and it keeps me from being a good steward of His precious gifts. Daryl is such an enjoyable speaker. If you are interested, you can go to the church's website and download the message on stewardship (part IV): http://www.gccaz.org/sermonseries.aspx.
Third, my normal Sunday school class/community group was pre-empted by an informational class on discipleship. They asked my class teacher to speak because he and his wife have spent nearly the last 50 years discipling people who desire to grow in the Lord. As I listened I felt the Lord nudging me saying that keeping all of the Lord's goodness to myself was greedy! Spending time just on my own leisure activities is greedy when I consider all of the people who don't know the Lord, or who haven't been mentored to walk in the Spirit. so, I signed-up for the 10-week course on discipleship. Sigh... back to marathon church on Sundays :)
Ok, Lord, You are teaching me and giving me many opportunities to grow. Help me to use these opportunities to their fullest. Help my unbelief and laziness so You are glorified. Amen.
I continue to go to the Lord for help and understanding about my greed and gluttony. Every day there is something, many things, new!
Yesterday, there were three (at least) very blatant ways in which the Lord was teaching me (make me teachable, Lord!).
First, in the service we sang a song that was new to me. It's called "Surrender" by Marc James. The lyrics are below.
I'm giving You my heart
All that is within
I lay it all down
For the sake of You my King
I'm giving You my dreams
laying down my rights
I'm giving up my pride
For the promise of new life
And I Surrender
All to You, all to You
I'm singing You this song
I'm waiting at the Cross
All the world holds dear
I count it all as loss
For the sake of knowing You
For the glory of Your name
To know the lasting joy
Even sharing in Your pain
I've often had difficulty saying "I surrender all" because I know in my heart that I'm not surrendering "all", I don't even know what "all" is. However, it is much more meaningful to me to choose one thing to work on at a time (I find I make much more progress in my spiritual growth). So, if I can choose, in that moment, to surrender my greed then I have found a tangible, workable way to honor my Lord.
Next, one of our teaching pastors, Daryl DelHouseaye, spoke on stewardship. Again, the Lord showed me that my greed does affect others and it keeps me from being a good steward of His precious gifts. Daryl is such an enjoyable speaker. If you are interested, you can go to the church's website and download the message on stewardship (part IV): http://www.gccaz.org/sermonseries.aspx.
Third, my normal Sunday school class/community group was pre-empted by an informational class on discipleship. They asked my class teacher to speak because he and his wife have spent nearly the last 50 years discipling people who desire to grow in the Lord. As I listened I felt the Lord nudging me saying that keeping all of the Lord's goodness to myself was greedy! Spending time just on my own leisure activities is greedy when I consider all of the people who don't know the Lord, or who haven't been mentored to walk in the Spirit. so, I signed-up for the 10-week course on discipleship. Sigh... back to marathon church on Sundays :)
Ok, Lord, You are teaching me and giving me many opportunities to grow. Help me to use these opportunities to their fullest. Help my unbelief and laziness so You are glorified. Amen.
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