Anna: the faithful witness

In my ladies' Bible study we're working our way through John MacArthur's "Twelve Extraordinary Women". Some have made a bigger impression on me than others (I think it's those that I haven't really studied before). I really enjoyed the chapter on Hannah (from 1 Samuel). I am also really getting so much out of the Anna section (chapter 7). Here are a few sections that speak to me:

"When she spoke, it was about the Word of God. She had evidently spent a lifetime hiding God's Word in her heart. Naturally, that was the substance of what she usually had to say." p. 134

What a wonderful example! She had the Lord's treasure stored up and out of that flowed glory to God. In church on Sunday my class leaders (in their 80s) spoke of how "getting old ain't for sissies". They said it's harder to think right and study the Word (I think due to fatigue and memory problems), however someone else noted that whatever is memorized and stored away from God's Word can be recalled and meditated on at any point in life. This is a good lesson for me to spend more time memorizing Scripture.

"Luke adds that she 'served God with fastings and prayers night and day' (Luke 2:37 NKJV)... The manner of her praying, accompanied by fasting, speaks of her self-denial and sincerity. Fasting by itself is not a particularly useful exercise. Abstaining from food per se has no mystical effect on anything spiritual. But fasting with prayer reveals a heart so consumed with praying, and so eager to receive the blessing being sought, that the person simply has no interest in eating. That is when fasting has real value." p.136, 137

This gives me a helpful insight into fasting. I have taken a few opportunities to fast in the past, but at this stage in my life I *fear* turning the experience into a diet. I will meditate on this section and look into biblical fasting. Maybe this is an exercise that God wants to carry me through.

"Anna's amazing faith stemmed from the fact that she believed all the promises that filled the Old Testament. She took the Word of God seriously... She truly loved her God. She understood His heart and mind. She genuinely believed His Word." p. 138

How beautiful! I want to truly believe and love God. Lord, may it be so! May I desire You more than anything else!

That which matters

What a whirlwind of a season! As I look back I ask myself, "how much of your activity matters?"

Over the last few years I've really tried to choose to make my celebration time (Thanksgiving to New Year's Day) matter in the eternal scheme. I want it to glorify God.

That is the reason that He created me, saved me, sustains me and teaches me. His goal and purpose is His own glory. And what a mighty thing it is, too.

I have recently been presented with a couple of really good examples of focusing on what DOES NOT matter. Let me explain.

In my hospital we have been caring for an injured and elderly man of vast wealth. In his home country he used to be the head of the nation's security/intelligence organization. When he commanded something to be done, it was accomplished. If something needed to be purchased he had the ability to buy it. If he needed help from someone, he had all the connections he could ask for. In his current medical state neither his wealth, power or network of acquaintances are able to help him. He is left powerless. This has caused severe depression and worsening of his condition. He has depended on everyone and everything except for the Lord, the only One who is truly Almighty and all-powerful.

This example shows me how we/I can be so easily distracted and exchange our source of strength from the One who is everlasting to something that is so fleeting. I am so saddened by this man and so wish that the Lord would gloriously show Himself in someway to the man and his family.

Then, last week, a high school classmate of mine died. Of a heart attack. We're 30 years old.

His story speaks to me two-fold. First, I don't believe that he knew the Lord and I pray that my mom and others who are reaching out to the family are able to comfort them and teach them about Jesus. Second, he was a very big guy. He always was. We always were. His heart was sick: from the lack of Jesus and from not caring for himself. The same thing could happen to any glutton at any time. Sometimes I wonder how much damage I did to myself as a younger person. Sigh...

I can't undo the past, but I can choose to live now (in the present) for Jesus, following His guidance and walking in His Spirit. There is no sadness in Him, only joy everlasting!

Article on submission

I am learning that the real hindrance to my ability to walk in the Spirit is my unwillingness to submit. I found a help article that I think gives a good, practical, biblical overview of submission:

http://bible.org/seriespage/taking-second-look-submission-1-peter-213-37

Depression diet

My pastor shared this diet for depression yesterday:

The following diet is designed to help you cope with the stress, paranoia, depression and delusion that builds during the holidays...

Breakfast:
1/2 grapefruit
1 slice whole wheat toast
8 oz. skim milk

Lunch:
4 oz. lean broiled chicken breast
1 cup steamed spinach
1 cup herb tea
1 Oreo cookie

Mid-Afternoon snack:
The rest of Oreos in the package
2 pints Rocky Road ice cream, nuts, cherries and whipped cream
1 jar hot fudge sauce

Dinner:
2 loaves garlic bread
4 cans or 1 large pitcher Coke
1 large sausage, mushroom and cheese pizza
3 Snickers bars

Late Evening News:
Entire frozen Sara Lee cheesecake (eaten directly from freezer)

Remember, stressed spelled backwards = desserts.

I was actually pretty sad to hear it - and even sadder when everyone laughed at it. I won't say that I've eaten this exactly, but I have had some startling binges in the past.

Sure, I ate more this weekend than I should have, but it was less than last year (woohoo!)
It's the little victories. :)

Treasure in the arms of Christ

This song, Forgiven, by Sanctus Real has been blowing me away in the last couple of weeks. I'm so thankful for it!

Well the past is playing with my head

And failure knocks me down again

I'm reminded of the wrong

That I have said and done

And that devil just wont let me forget

In this life I know what I've been

But here in your arms I know what I am

I'm forgiven I'm forgiven

And I dont have to carry

The weight of who I've been

Cause I'm forgiven

My mistakes are running through my mind

And I'll relive my days, in the middle of the night

And I struggle with my pain, wrestle with my pride

Sometimes I feel alone, and I cry

When I don’t fit in and I don’t feel like I belong anywhere

When I don’t measure up to much in this life

Oh, I’m a treasure in the arms of Christ

On-line quiz

Yesterday I let myself be suckered in to taking an on-line quiz from a psychology website. The quiz was about emotional eating. I tried, as best as possible, to honestly answer according to my current beliefs and actions. It was pretty lengthy. I thought, or maybe I was hoping, the site would "diagnose" me or, at least, help me uncover an area to work on or some flesh machinery to deal with.

Nope. None of that. According to their quiz I have a healthy perception of food and body image. Part of me want to sigh with relief, "Thank God", but the truth is that I find this result disturbing. I know what I have running around in my brain and much of it is totally unhealthy, besides being ungodly. I wondered how they make their determination. What are my answers measured up against? The world? Worldly wisdom? The behavior of others? At any rate it can't be very rigorous.

This leaves me with two thoughts:
1. There must be A LOT OF WOMEN out there in massive bondage to sinful/ungodly conceptions about food and body.
2. The Lord will is never-changing an the only thing against which I measure my life.

The first thought saddens me so much! Lord, make me a vessel of Your love so You can minister to other women who need You so badly! I am so thankful for the second thought. The only thing worthwhile as a measuring stick for my beliefs and actions is God's will acted out by Jesus as my example! Anything less is fruitless and not of Him. Thank You, Lord, for showing me Your Truth and thank You for giving me everything I need for life and godliness!

Reality

In the reality that comes from above

God is good, there's no bigger love.

It's His reality that welcomes us back

Trust and obey, there is no other way

- The Newsboys

These last several days have given me a good opportunity to focus on reality. It must be something that is missing in my life, because the Lord is giving me many lessons in it.

On Saturday my husband and I drove to another city to see the Newsboys play. It was so fun. Michael Tate, formerly with DC Talk, is the new lead singer for the Newsboys. I never considered that they might play some old DC Talk songs, but they did! It was like high school/college all over again!

So, that put me on a Newsboys listening trip. I was listening to one of their albums with the song "Reality" whose lyrics I've quoted above. God's reality is so totally different from this world. In His plan, we are to trust and obey (I'm singing the hymn in my head). That is the True way to live, but in my flesh and in this world I am deluded into thinking that myself and my wants and my feelings are the true reality. Yuck! Thank God it's not!

On Sunday we saw a theatre version of C.S. Lewis' "The Screwtape Letters". It's one of my favorite Lewis books. Of course they can't condense the whole book into a 90-minute program, but I think they did a pretty good job. The gist of it is that a senior demon, Screwtape, is writing letters to a underling, Wormwood, giving him advice on how to keep his assigned human from (1) becoming a Christian and (2) being an effective, victorious Christian. At one point Screwtape gives the suggestion of keeping the human from really contemplating what reality is.

This is so vital! To know what true reality really is. If I numb myself to it by TV, books, Internet or even by things that I consider good, like doing projects are church, then I loose sight of God's plan for my life and I rob Him of His glory.

In week 9 of the Thin Within workbook #1 we are looking at 1 Corinthians 6.12:

Everything is permissible for me - but not everything is beneficial.

Everything is permissible for me - but I will not be mastered by anything.

I came to the realization that I am still very mastered by lies and inanimate objects. How crazy is it that the ice cream in my freezer has any power over me? The reality is that I give it power. How base is it that the values of the world have power over me? The reality is that I choose to believe lies.

I am taking a stand against believing lies. It's amazing how many of them are ingrained in me and swimming around in my head! I don't even know how much I have to unlearn! It's daunting, but I can never move forward until I come to the realization that I freely choose to believe lies. Only then can I choose to believe God's eternal truth instead.

I feel like I'm writing grandiose statements - I'm doing it on purpose so I can, at a later point, come back and see the gravity of the situation and my desperate need for freedom to believe the truth.

Thank you, God, for getting me to this point! I will choose to trust you to take me to the next!