Thankful

I'm so thankful for my husband.

The Lord gave me a great man to lead me and teach me. He's not perfect, but through that the Lord teaches me and changes me. The reflection of myself and my actions is pretty scary and embarrassing at times, but the Lord allows it for my good and He fortunately gave me someone who can put up with it :)

Last weekend in California for his cousin's wedding we were invited to the rehearsal luncheon. My husband left the directions/address back in Arizona. He thought he knew where the restaurant was so we parked and started walking around, unable to find it. I was so frustrated. It's because I value being on time, I value people perceiving me as competent, I want to show others that I value them by showing up on time and I value being organized. Sometimes my task-oriented values win out over valuing relationships. Sometimes my drive to honor my values proves me to be childish, throwing a temper tantrum in the parking lot.


I used to never want to be married, but the Lord changed my desires. When we got married it wasn't because I was totally enamored by my husband, but because I was convinced that this was what God wanted for my life. I used to feel like there were so many "bad" men and, at times, I have certain assumptions about how my husband will (re)act. For instance, the other week I was making dinner and I wanted to use a can of tomatoes from the pantry. My husband was closer to it so I asked him to pass it to me. I hesitantly asked him because I still have notions that my husband is like men who say "cooking is women's work - don't ask for my help". I was so independent before sometimes I feel like I need to apologize if I want/need help. what I most appreciate about my husband is not that he's a knight in shining armor, but that he's there for the little things. For me, the little things matter a lot.


Marriage has been really revealing to me about my character. I kind of feel embarrassed a lot, but the Lord gave me someone who loves me even though I act like an idiot. Most importantly, the Lord loves me right now.