Blessed be Your Name

I love this song, Blessed be Your Name. It always speaks to me. Today I was thinking about personalizing it, but first I’ll include the lyrics as the are:

Blessed Be Your Name

In the land that is plentiful

Where Your streams of abundance flow

Blessed be Your name

Blessed Be Your name

When I'm found in the desert place

Though I walk through the wilderness

Blessed Be Your name

Every blessing You pour out

I'll turn back to praise

When the darkness closes in, Lord

Still I will say

Chorus:

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be Your name

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your name

When the sun's shining down on me

When the world's 'all as it should be'

Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name

On the road marked with suffering

Though there's pain in the offering

Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out

I'll turn back to praise

When the darkness closes in, Lord

Still I will say

Chorus 2X

You give and take away

You give and take away

My heart will choose to say

Praise the Lord! Now, I was thinking about making it reflective of my life. So, the first verse blesses God when things are going well. What might that look like in my life?

Blessed Be Your Name

When I’ve gotten enough sleep

And my favorite praise song is on KLove

Blessed be Your name

The next verse blesses the Lord when things aren’t going well. So, for example:

Blessed Be Your Name

When I get a migraine

And my supervisor is driving me nuts

Blessed be Your name

I could do this for days! Let’s try some more:

Blessed Be Your Name

When there’s money in the bank

And plenty of food in the pantry

Blessed be Your name

AND

Blessed Be Your Name

When my husband loses his job

And my car is not working well

Blessed be Your name

God is good all of the time AND all of the time God is good. The world’s circumstance doesn’t change my God! Now, the last part:

You give and take away

You give and take away

My heart will choose to say

When I first heard this song I used to think like many people do, “God giveth [the good] and God taketh away [the good]”. More recently I have seen that God gives His Son, His salvation, His peace, His joy, His presence and His provision (just to name a few) and takes away my sin, my shame, my guilt, my anger, my pride, my hurt and my selfishness. I wouldn’t trade that for anything!

Praise the Lord and try personalizing it for yourself

Disciples Abide

I'm not sure whether my post title is a command or a statement of fact. I think it's both.


In our reading for discipleship class this week we have a large pack of material that touches on several subjects with the overarching theme of "abide" or "watlk in the spirit" (WITS as my friend, Bert says). some of the reading is from one of our teaching pastors, Mike, some is from author Andrew Murray, and some is from The Victorious Life that the pastor found on http://www.bibleteacher.com/.

It talks about the christian life being a journey made up of four parts: seeking God, knowing God, being transformed by God and loving others (because of God). I think of it almost as a cycle (I made this fun little graph of the four points with arrows moving from one to the next in a circle, but I can't figure out how to import it - I'm not too savvy, I guess).

There's so much richness in these reading. Here I'll share some.

"As disciples we need to move from seeking God as one of our options to seeking God as our primary passsion and the overwhelming motivator of our life." ~ Mike Richardson

In a sheet discussing deliverance and freedom in Christ, Mike writes, "We need to deal with the body, soul and spirit of the person in order to bring about complete freedom and 'it was for freedom that Christ set us free' (Gal 5:1). What did Jesus do? - Healed the sick and cast out demons." I appreciate this because it takes a wholistic approach to ministry. Not every ailment is spiritually based ans yet not every problem has a resolution in the physical world. We often need both! (as I do in eating)

The most profound thing that I saw from Andrew Maurry was that God does the work, all we are calle dto do is YEILD, TRUST (i.e. BELIEVE) and WAIT. We aren't to do anything else unless the Spirit moves us. In some ways it seems easy, yet these are three very hard things for humans to do becuase they make us totally dependent on another. We no longer have the control because we've yielded it to Him.  "You are not under the law, with its inexorable DO, but under grace with its blessed Belive what christ will do for you."

From The Victorious Life we were given chapters 10 and 14. It is so rich.

"Victory begins only when struggling ceases."

"Christ can and does give us Victory over all known sin: not gradually but INSTANTANEOUSLY." We just have to learn to live that way moment by moment. It's a process.

"We are neither saved nor sanctified by what we give up, but by what we receive." I am not sanctified or made more holy by stopping to binge eat. I am sanctified by receiving Christ, allowing the spirit to move me and accpeting whatever He has for me. This is blessed news because I still have had the thought that I am made more holy by giving up my life of sin. No! I am made holy by accepting the holy One.  "...we may not, cannot in the smallest degree, share with christ the work of accomplishing any part of our salvation. et so many of us imagine that in the matter of sanctification we must 'paddle our own canoe'."

This little story is cute:
"A little girl of 13 was asked what difference the Victorious Life meant to her in times of temptation. after a little pause she replied, "Before I saw this truth, I used to argue with the tempter, and he usually got the better of me. But now, when he knocks at the door of my heart, I say, 'Lord Jesus, will you answer the door for me?' And when Satan sees the Lord Jesus within, he says, "I'm sorry, I think I've come to the wrong house' - and he flees."

Finally, for today, part of Hudson Taylor's definition of abiding, as recorded in The Victorious Life:

"Abiding - not struggling or striving; looking off to Him; trusting Him for present power; trusting Him to subdue all inward corruption; resting in the conscious joy of a complete salvation; a salvation from all sin: willing that He should be truly supreme."

No TV, spending, greed and my view of gluttony (?)

I think we're ten days or so into Lent, and, therefore, ten days into Yvonne's "no TV time". It hasn't been terribly difficult, but there are times when it's harder. I hadn't planned on watching TV on Friday night, but I was in the living room with my husand, trying to talk to him, and he had the Olympics on. I saw a couple of speed skating races (oh no, Ono!). Once I realized what I was doing, I stopped watching TV and decided, "No more for me!" and I stopped. No big deal.

I observed and corrected. Now, why is that so hard for me to do in eating?

First, I think I'm still believing some lies about food (like "it's a worse sin to eat than to do X, therefore I must suffer more condemnation", maybe). I need to take some time to sit with the Lord and go through these thoughts, checking for their validity. Second, I believe (rightly or not) that there are bigger/worse repercussions for not eating in the Spirit than there are for not doing X in the Spirit. This may not be entirely untrue. If I overeat, it will show in my sluggishness and on my body. If I, for example, watch TV when I said that I won't, what's the harm (given such benign programming as the Olympics)? Hmm, I've got to let myself be still for awhile and let this stew...

So, maybe I condemn myself too much for not eating in the Spirit (this phrase, by the way, comes from 'Walking in the Spirit" or, living my life abiding in Christ). However, I wonder if I don't really hate the sin of idolizing food. I say this because my husband and I have been talking for weeks now about the financial problems of family and friends. Honestly, I have a hard time understanding how/why somebody would think, "I can't afford X, but I want it, so I'll use credit to obtain it." I know this is rampant in America, including among believers. this is something that I truly hate. Why? My childhood was littered with family debt problems. After my father left my mother continued living as she used to (without a job). In part, I know that she shopped to make herself feel better and she wanted others to think that everything was ok. By late elementary, I was answering collectors' phone calls telling them that my mommy wasn't home - she was, she just didn't want to deal. I became so afraid of debt that I refused to get a credit card in college. I eventually did, once I learned that I didn't have to use it. My husband and I are still trying to help my mom deal with her financial issues many years later.

I have Christian friends who say, "please pray for me that God will help me get out of debt," yet they remain in their same behavior. If belief really does cause behavior, then there thinking isn't right. Now, we're told in 1 Corinthians 5:12 (NASB):

For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Do you not judge those who are within the church? But those who are outside, God judges.

This is given in a discourse about dealing with sexual immorality within the church. I am extending ti to other sins - if I am wrong in doing so, please correct me. I read that we (believers) are not to judge unbelievers. God will take care of that. We are, however, called to show bretheren the truth and discipline them. Jesus explains the process in Matthew 18:15-20 (NASB):

"If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother. "But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that BY THE MOUTH OF TWO OR THREE WITNESSES EVERY FACT MAY BE CONFIRMED. "If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. "Truly I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall have been bound in heaven; and whatever you loose on earth shall have been loosed in heaven. "Again I say to you, that if two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by My Father who is in heaven. "For where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst."

So, what do I do if a believer will not repent? Becuase, truly, as long as I continue to idolize food and "perfect" body images, am I not the same? Are we unwilling to submit to the Lord and eat/shop/live/talk/walk in the Spirit? Going back several paragraphs, do I not hate being greedy food? I don't have the same reaction to eating unnecessarily as I do to purchasing unnecessarily. I think if I did then I would truly be dead to this sin and no longer submit to slavery of food.

Lord, I am frustrated! Again and again I eat impulsivly. I do not slow down to consider what I need. I don not consider You. I do and then think. I am frustrated with friends who say they long to submit to You in some are of their lives, yet it appears that they do not. Help me to come along side them in truth and love. Help me accept Your truth and love. Help me not to be greedy with food. You said, Jesus, that I am to be aware and be on guard against EVERY form of greed in Luke 12:15. Help me! I want victory over this sin and I want You to have the glory. I just feel that if I hated overeating like I hat overspending, then I would be done with this sin today. Carry me! Thank you, Amen.

Greed verses

For my discipleship class at church they’ve asked all of us to choose a “transformational issue” to work on. I’m fairly certain that means an area of sin or disobedience. So, I’ve chosen “greed” since it’s the area that the Lord has brought me to.

They asked us to create a list of steps that we can take as we move through this transformation. A friend of mine, who is also taking the class, is having some difficult not turning those steps into law. I feel pretty free in these steps and the Lord has already taken me through some of them:

1. Go to God asking for His enlightenment about greed, what it looks like in my life, what scripture says about it, how He views it as sin and what I need to do to repent of it.
2. Once I begin to learn about those things listed in step #1, I will pray as I need help or discernment with any particular greed. I will need to pray constantly as I choose to repent of greed (in thought and deed) as I deal with my physical and emotional responses to the lack of giving in to greed. There will be moments when I am totally unable to even desire to repent of greed and through prayer I will be able to ask God to deliver me.
3. I will ask for accountability in this transformation process. I already have my husband’s support and I can utilize women through Thin within and my own ladies’ Bible study. Additionally, I will use journaling (3 or 4 times per week) as a way to work out my thoughts or feelings as I move through this transformation process.

I think those are solid steps that I can count on. It’s not a law. If I don’t do one or if I have trouble there is no condemnation. The Lord is carrying me. Additionally, they’ve asked us to come up with one verse or section of scripture (I picked 3) that we are to memorize concerning out issue. These are mine (all from NASB):

Luke 12:15
Then He said to them, “Beware and be on guard against every form of greed, for not even when on has an abundance does his life consist of his possessions.”

Ephesians 5:3
But immorality or any impurity or greed must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints.

Colossians 3:5
Therefore, consider the members of your earthly body as dead to immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire and greed, which amounts to idolatry.

I chose these three because all say something important to me about greed. In Luke, Jesus teaches us that life is more than stuff(ing). In Ephesians Paul says that greed ≠ saintliness. We are saints and ambassadors of Christ to the world (2 Cor 5.20) and as such the world should never think our greed represents anything remotely resembling Christ. In the letter to the Colossians, Paul explains that greed = idolatry. It means that I love something more than the Lord.

So, I’m slowly working on putting all of this to memory – and to practice!

Lord, may all of this been done in Your name and in the power of the Holy Spirit so that You get the glory of any transformation in me and that I may not grow weary in/of the process. Amen!

Eating like a woman posessed!

AARGH!

Truth be told, I haven’t eaten that much, especially in comparison to previous eating habits, but I feel like I’m totally consumed with, well, consuming food. Actually, most of what I’ve had today is even good for me (ok, minus the doughnut at lunch, I’ve had toast, cereal with yogurt and edemame – that’s it!).

So what’s the deal?

The deal is that I’ve got some stress triggers floating around in my brain and in my environment. In the past, I’ve used food to distract or numb myself from the problems. Even though I know better, today I’ve been choosing to go to food rather than God with my problem. Go figure – it’s not working. Now that I am wise to the fact that food is just stuff(ing) it holds no power, real or imagined, to improve my situation.

So, if I can understand that food has no power to help me, why do I return to it? Why do I give myself over to it? Habit? Maybe. I can’t come up with anything else because I don’t even desire it (I desire its imagined effects, but I don’t long for the food itself).

Aargh.

God, I have not been still today. Even in my Bible study I was mentally consumed by other things. Consumed with fear of not getting what I think is best. Consumed with not getting my way. Lord, it is greed and selfishness. This time I’m not greedy for food, but I am using it as a substitute for the things that I really desire in this moment like having my way! I’m not at peace. I don’t have joy. I’m not walking in the Spirit and I’m using food as a means to counterfeit peace and joy. When I pray it and write it out, it all seems so silly. Lord, you are the author of all things True and logical. Thank you for encouraging me to slooow down and write to you about my thoughts and fear. Thank you for helping me to recognize that I am using food as a substitute for other forms of greed and not getting my way. I have so far to go Lord, but I know you patiently carry me all the way through. Amen.

Less aargh. More praise :)

Daily affirmations

"I'm Good Enough, I'm Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like Me!"
Daily Affirmations With Stuart Smalley from Saturday Night Live

I don't mean that kind of daily affirmation, but I thought that's what they meant when they first told me about it. Three weeks ago I started a new class at church for those interested in discipling others. Each week we go over basic information of our faith (more as a means to share it with others than confirm our own belief) and we have homework exercises to help us confirm what we know is true and memorize scripture.

Last week they began with the Daily Affirmations exercise. They gave us two sheets of 11 affirmations total. Before I read them I though, "Come on, really? Am I going to stand in front of the mirror and make myself believe this stuff?" Fortunately, I don't have to. These affirmations cover basic tenents of our belief: who God the Father is, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit; that I am fully loved by Him; my purpose is to love God and serve him in worship; things of that nature. To me they aren't so much daily affirmations, rather biblical truths. I only wish they had included scriptural references to back-up each affirmation.

As homework they've asked us to come up with five of our own affirmations. I've actually found this to be a rewarding activity. I chose five topics that I think are important for me to focus on, aside form the 11 already given. I also chose to look up Bible references for each to substantiate my affirmations. They are as follows:

1. My spiritual completion is found in Jesus. Even though I may never be complete/sinless in this flesh I choose, in this moment, to live in the wholeness of Him who perfected me. The Yvonne of the future walks in the Spirit continually, so I choose to do the same now. (Galatians 5:16, 25; 1 John 2:5)

2. I am more than a conqueror in Christ Jesus. In Him I have full victory over sin, death, the flesh and the power of Satan. Therefore, there is no room for victim mentality or excuses. (Romans 8:37; 1 Corinthians 15:15; 1 John 5:4)

3. In Christ Jesus I am wholly acceptable to God. He proves that He accepts me by giving me His Holy Spirit. (Acts 15:8)

4. Even though I may not be able to answer "why?" I know that God has chosen me to glorify Him by His perfect will. (Deuteronomy 7:6; Joshua 24:22, Romans 8:33, Ephesians 1:11, Colossians 3:12, 1 Thessalonians 1:14, 1 Peter 1:1-2, 1 Peter 2:9)

5. My body is a temple of the Holy Spirit. He has made me holy, set me apart, and consecrated me for His presence and good works. Therefore, I choose to treat my body and honor it as a residence to the Holy Spirit. It is not my won; I am to care for it physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. (1 Corinthians 6:19-20)

These five affirmations reflect five areas of my life where I struggle believing the truth or living it out. I call these areas: completeness in Christ; victor, not victim; acceptable to God, chosen of/by God; and my body as a temple of the Holy Spirit.

Maybe I'll change Stuart's affirmation to:
"I'm loved enough, I'm empowered enough, and doggone it, Jesus like me!"

Giving myself over

I'm slowly making my way through "Get Thin Stay Thin" by the Hallidays. I really wish the book had maintained its former title of "Silent Hunger" because I think that much more accurately describes their main theme: we all have a silent soul hunger that can only be filled by God and any other attempt at filling it will be fruitless and hurtful.

Chapter 6's title is "Dependence Not Addiction". I've only read half of the chapter so far but it is speaking volumes to me. Let me quote some of it.

"Our authentic need for intimacy, when unment, opens the door to addictions. The word addiction derives from the Latin addicere meaning to give assent - to give up or to give over." (p 123)

I love word studies (I'm a linguist and translator) because they make meaning come alive to me. I am so thankful to learn that the root meaning of addiction indicates that I (willingly?) give myself up or give myself over to that which I choose to control me. You see, most of the time when I hear the word "addiction" used, it always seems like it expresses that the person is not at fault. They cannot help themselves. It's their addiction (said in a whisper). Yet the root word indicates a choice. I can't give myself over to anything against my will. Giving, I'm pretty sure, is always an act of the will.

Of course I understand that many may be genetically or emotionally predisposed to certain actions, but it is always our choice to perform those actions.

The point is: I can't blame food, or anyone or anything else for that matter.

"Addiction results from a misplaced human attempt to satisfy our legitimate, God-given need for intimacy." (p. 124) The Hallidays then go on to write that as we continue ignoring our need for the Lord it gets buried under more and more layers of self-reliance and addiction. I think intimacy becomes really foreign to us, at least to me. Over the last three or four years God has been growing me in this area and it has been hard and scary and painful. As much as I need intimacy with the Lord and with fellow believers, it's often not comfortable, because I'm not used to it. It's much more comfortable for me to make a joke, change the subject or turn on the TV to avoid it. That has been my M.O. for years and I think it will take many more to move away from it.

In my ladies' Bible study we're looking at Mary and Martha this week. I've always kind of felt bad for Martha (maybe because I'm just like her). She, too, believed Jesus, but she allowed herself to get distracted from Him. Maybe she had to go through the same unlearning process as I do - changing her old addictive "do" attitude for a new "be" attitude. Martha needed to learn how to give herself over to the Lord completely. So do I.

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On another note: I can't believe how much free time I have without the TV. This morning my husband and I did some work in the back yard, did a load of laundry, had breakfast and vacuumed the house before 10am. He's been a good sport putting up with me and my boredom. Last night he told me, "I'm happy to support you in this, but I don't have to carry you through it. You've got to figure it out for yourself." He's totally right. I've got to give it to the Lord and let Him show me what to do with my time and energy.