I'm slowly making my way through "Get Thin Stay Thin" by the Hallidays. I really wish the book had maintained its former title of "Silent Hunger" because I think that much more accurately describes their main theme: we all have a silent soul hunger that can only be filled by God and any other attempt at filling it will be fruitless and hurtful.
Chapter 6's title is "Dependence Not Addiction". I've only read half of the chapter so far but it is speaking volumes to me. Let me quote some of it.
"Our authentic need for intimacy, when unment, opens the door to addictions. The word addiction derives from the Latin addicere meaning to give assent - to give up or to give over." (p 123)
I love word studies (I'm a linguist and translator) because they make meaning come alive to me. I am so thankful to learn that the root meaning of addiction indicates that I (willingly?) give myself up or give myself over to that which I choose to control me. You see, most of the time when I hear the word "addiction" used, it always seems like it expresses that the person is not at fault. They cannot help themselves. It's their addiction (said in a whisper). Yet the root word indicates a choice. I can't give myself over to anything against my will. Giving, I'm pretty sure, is always an act of the will.
Of course I understand that many may be genetically or emotionally predisposed to certain actions, but it is always our choice to perform those actions.
The point is: I can't blame food, or anyone or anything else for that matter.
"Addiction results from a misplaced human attempt to satisfy our legitimate, God-given need for intimacy." (p. 124) The Hallidays then go on to write that as we continue ignoring our need for the Lord it gets buried under more and more layers of self-reliance and addiction. I think intimacy becomes really foreign to us, at least to me. Over the last three or four years God has been growing me in this area and it has been hard and scary and painful. As much as I need intimacy with the Lord and with fellow believers, it's often not comfortable, because I'm not used to it. It's much more comfortable for me to make a joke, change the subject or turn on the TV to avoid it. That has been my M.O. for years and I think it will take many more to move away from it.
In my ladies' Bible study we're looking at Mary and Martha this week. I've always kind of felt bad for Martha (maybe because I'm just like her). She, too, believed Jesus, but she allowed herself to get distracted from Him. Maybe she had to go through the same unlearning process as I do - changing her old addictive "do" attitude for a new "be" attitude. Martha needed to learn how to give herself over to the Lord completely. So do I.
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On another note: I can't believe how much free time I have without the TV. This morning my husband and I did some work in the back yard, did a load of laundry, had breakfast and vacuumed the house before 10am. He's been a good sport putting up with me and my boredom. Last night he told me, "I'm happy to support you in this, but I don't have to carry you through it. You've got to figure it out for yourself." He's totally right. I've got to give it to the Lord and let Him show me what to do with my time and energy.
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