Protection

Over the weekend we studied Ephesians at our retreat. I started reading and looking at the epistle in new ways. First, I began reading it correctly (that is, reading it word-for-word and not adding or deleting anything) and second, I read it with my struggle against gluttony in mind. I think that giving myself a focus, rather than reading it in the abstract, helped me glean more from the passage.

One example of that is Chapter 6.10-18 about the armor of God. I have read this, memorized this and taught this in Sunday school but I never really grasped how I could put on the armor. This time, I decided to apply it to my standing against Satan's attempts to lure me into food idolatry and using food to replace God.

6.10-13
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

This tells me that I have to be strong IN THE LORD. Not in myself or in other, but in Him. Twice in this passage I see that I have to put on the FULL armor of God. Part of it is insufficient. I also learn that the point of this is is to stand my ground against my real enemies, not my body, but against Satan's forces.

14. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place,

I have to be surrounded by truth. It encompasses me front, back and sides because I've got to know the truth and be ready to stand against lies.

I have to be covered by righteousness. Where do I get that? from Jesus. He is my righteousness. A breastplate covers the vital organs of a warrior and Jesus covers me.

15. and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.

I've got to be ready to move wherever the Lord leads me (maybe to change my behaviors or reactions). Jesus is my peace. That is good news.

16. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.

Faith, belief, is an amazing thing. It directs my thoughts and causes my behavior. Only by believing what god says is true will I be able to stand against the lies and the hurts that Satan will throw.

17. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

I have to have my mind full of salvation. Satan will try to sabotage my thinking more than anything. I have to know that I know that I know that my salvation is sure in Christ.

Up until now all of the parts of the armor have been defensive in nature. One part is offensive: the sword of the Spirit, the word of God. His gospel, His story, His good news and teachings. I have to know these so I can use them when needed to strike a blow against Satan's lies.

18. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

Usually the armor of God ends with verse 17, but over the weekend I saw the importance of verse 18. I've got to pray. I've got to be in communication with my commanding officer. If I am submitting to Him I have to move as He directs. Can you imagine a soldier running off on his own? He'll get creamed. The same thing will happen to me if I try to stand against Satan without direct communication from God.

This is something that I hope I will come back to time and again. :) It's really good stuff.

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On another note:

My husband has commented to me a few times that I have "body issues". He's right. I do. After our retreat I told him how I had spent most of the weekend feeling pretty good and not hating the way I look because of what some of our friends had said. He asked me to elaborate and I told him that I had taken picture with a bunch of friends and one called me 'photogenic' another said I looked 'amazing'. (I'm not trying to justify my feelings based on what others say, this is just the point I'm at right now.) To this my husband replied, "I think you just don't understand how good you really look." My response was to ball my eyes out. Very deep down (and I think this fits into the category of 'fat machinery') I believe that I AM fat and unattractive. That is my identity. I have been told for so many years (often it is me telling myself) how fat, ugly, manly and un-cute I am. It was too difficult for me to sit in and accept the feelings washing over me when my husband said that. I very quickly regained 'control' by making a joke and changing the subject.

This is going to be a tough issue to deal with.