Greed exposed

I was walking around work today and praying about how much I hate greed and how hurtful my greediness has been to me when I realized that I don't really hate greed. So, I decided to ponder the topic to help expose what is really going on in my head and my heart.

What is greed?
I'm choosing to define it (for now, at least) as the ungodly desire for more than what I need or more than what God decides to give me. I chose to add in the second part, because He readily gives me MORE grace, love, hope, joy, peace and wisdom than I may need. Thank you, Lord :)

Why do I love greed?
It feeds my flesh, my wants, my will and my desires. It focuses on ME. My flesh does not want to give up greed because that would take the focus off of ME.
Sigh...but He must increase and I must decrease.

As long as I continue to love greed, the Spirit within me is at war with me. I cannot have peace while I continue to cling to greed - to sin. I cannot and will not see fruits of the Spirit in my life if I continue in habitual, unrepentant sin. The two are diametrically opposed.

I want to hate it because it separates me from God. I think the only way that will ever happen is my submersing myself in the Word and in prayer, by being intentional consistently.
Sigh...it seems like a lot of work.

What am I going to do about greed?
I don't know. I think I need to sit in this for awhile. I know I need to wait until God tells me to do what He wants me to do. Otherwise, I'll wind up spinning my wheels in my own fleshly attempt at getting out.

I feel kind of down, yucky, about all of this. But this is a good first step. I have to recognize and define the problem before I can do anything about it.

God, I am going to wait on You. This is a universally-huge, deep-down, to-the-core sin. It sits right there with pride and selfishness. Thank You that You have brought me to a point of realization. Just as I realized that gluttony permeated nearly all aspects of my life, so does greed. I'm really entrenched in it. I have enjoyed a long stay. Now, I want to be done. I want to be freed of it. I want You to unshackle me. Thank You, Jesus, that your perfect offering allows for my liberty. I have so little to offer, but I thank You. Holy Spirit, invade me, particularly the parts that I have kept from You for so long. Drive this ship - even for this moment. I realize that in every second of my life I am either moving closer to You or moving farther away. Lord, even if it just for right now, I choose to move to You. Show me what You want me to learn and change me. I don't "feel" good about this process, but I know that it is foundational and I trust You. I do. Amen.