Entertainment

I'm finding that I really like to be entertained. Part of me so wants to say that I'm not that shallow, but I am. I want things to be fun and easy. I want to be around people as long as they are looking for a good time. If they are downers I'd rather avoid them. I want to do activities that are comfortable and fun for me. I talk for my entertainment, play for my entertainment, eat for my entertainment and constantly look for ways to distract myself from things that aren't fun.

For some time now I've wanted an mp3 player (I had one on my last cell phone) to help be get through boring exercise like distance running or using machines at the gym. But I feel God telling me "no", trying to get me to understand that I don't need to be entertained all of the time.

Growing up the TV was on nearly 24/7. There was always something to distract us from the real world (including re-runs of "The Real World", ha!). If the TV wasn't enough, there was food. In times of depression, if TV and food weren't enough of an escape, I could just go to sleep. I think I learned these behaviors as an escape mechanism from other people in my family who desperately wanted to avoid painful and uncomfortable situations. One of my grandmother's mantras is "[Do] anything to keep peace in the family". I guess that meant even stuffing your face so you wouldn't argue.

My husband has also pointed out to me that I make light of serious situations so I don't have to feel anything. It frustrates him and I don't want to frustrate him. I also do tasks so I don't have to deal with feelings - mine or otherwise (I am SO a Martha).

Lord, I know that this is a reflection of my self-serving flesh. Free me from slavery of distraction, diversion and entertainment so that I can experience and enjoy the real things in life. Help me to deal with feelings and not just avoid them. Help me be a good steward of my time, so I don't waste this precious life on frivolous entertainment.