Pride

I have known for some time now that pride is essentially the root of all sin. What I hadn't realized is just how prideful I am and how my pride is linking to gluttony.

I am a Spanish interpreter/translator by profession, but you wouldn't know it to look at me. I'm one of the whitest people I know - blond and blue-eyed as well. At the hospital where I've worked I've had clients not believe that I am capable to speaking Spanish (one last note of pride: I hold a Master's degree in Spanish). At first I thought it was funny that they always asked how I learned Spanish, then I became really irritated by it (due to my pride) then, I thought I was over it.

On Fridays and Saturdays I attend dance classes at the Y. In both classes this weekend I had instances where my abilities in Spanish were questioned. I didn't fight it or try to justify myself (like by saying "I'm a hospital interpreter" in a snarky tone) , but on the inside I was really irritated. It was to the point that I couldn't enjoy the rest of class (which I normally love). I let my pride and my emotions ruin my attitude.

I recognize that the root of this is pride. In my flesh I want to be accepted and justified. I want people to think I'm smart and capable. Then, when those things don't happen, I want to be comforted. It's not that I automatically think, "I'm going to eat ice cream," rather I start feeling a longing for something to comfort me. In the past that was often food. I was able to recognize this feeling and go to God with it before doing major caloric damage.

I know that the problem is not what the other people said to me. It was my pride. My choice, now that I recognize this, is to go to God for my justification and my identity. Then, even if my feelings do get hurt, I also now know to God for my comfort. No food.